Tag Archives: video games

Babeled On: The 1980s

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A letter from Greg to the Babelonians

The Mighty Babelers UniteI’m talking cocaine, Mohawks, arcades, and Members Only Jackets. The unmatched and not-to-be-repeated era of New Wave, IROC Camaros, MTV and hair bands. I’m talking Big 80s folks, and it is high time the Babelers reflect on being raised during the most awkward of decades. This epoch of woe and misfortune has unknowningly served as the genesis for the post lol cat epic fail. Despite its short-comings, of which there are millions, the 1980s helped to forge a more perfect future of apathy, lethargy, and obesity.

Turn on the Magic of Shining Light: Lite Brite.

Andrew Blanco

When I think of the 80s I can’t help but think of elementary school…

I think of my glazed and exhausted eyes, and my insatiable desire to beat my first video game, The Legend of Zelda for Nintendo. I think of Nintendo: oh how I think of Nintendo.

Legend of Zelda Gold Cartridge for the NES.

I think of Dino-Riders, Tinkertoys, and Ninja Turtles. I think of Saturday morning cartoons!

I think of Star Wars and how badly I wanted to have a light saber. I’m not gonna lie, I still would love to own a light saber. I think of E.T., Indiana Jones, and my worship of all things Spielberg. I think of the time my older cousins tied my to a chair when I was five and forced me to watch Child’s Play in its entirety. I also think of my decade long irrational fear that dolls could be possessed by evil spirits and murder me in my sleep.

I think of D.A.R.E. and the propaganda against drugs. I think of AIDS and the propaganda against sex. I think of Ronald Reagan, and how funny I thought it was that that he shared the same first name as Ronald McDonald. I think of McDonald’s, and how much I used to love their chicken nuggets: those were some damn good nuggets!

I think of my wish to live a 100 years. If I can pull that off I will bear witness to the 2080s roll around. And even if the 2080s don’t live up to the awesomeness of the 1980s, at least I can rest in peace knowing that I was one of the few from our generation to keep bearing the torch of 1980s nostalgia far into the future.

Most of all I think of how distant the year 2009 felt when I was living through the 80s: I think of how slow time passed while I was a boy, and how fast time seems to be going now that I am a man.

I love the 80s… or maybe I’m just nostalgic for childhood…

Gregory Rineberg

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The 1980s is a very interesting time period. I am very happy and pleased to have spent the majority of my childhood growing up in such a decade. The movies that came out: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Ghostbusters, etc, were simply awesome. The cartoons: Thundercats, G.I. Joe, Voltron, Scooby Doo, etc. are all waaaay better than any other children shows or cartoons that came out years later. Video games became mainstream with Nintendo and Sega hitting the main stage and changing children’s imaginations throughout the world. Computers also became more popular, as well as the video games that were associated with them.

I believe that the children who grew up in the 1980s have a distinct advantage over children who grew up in the 90s or even now. Nowadays, kids grow up sitting in front of their computers constantly hooked up to the Internet, playing some RPG or chatting away with some virtual friends. While in the 80s, if you wanted to have fun, you actually spent time outside with your friends playing cops & robbers or manhunt. Not to mention, the kids today are spoiled (or cursed – depends on how you look at it) with an onslaught of media that surrounds them. The 1980s truly served as a bridge between two entirely different time periods, the revolutionary hippie period and the 90s technological boom… leading us into the 21st century.

Jack Gamble

Sony Walkman: an icon of the 1980s.The 1980s: A Journey into Jack’s iPod.

Let’s start with the piano intro to “On the Dark Side” by Eddie and the Cruisers. This will be a none-too-clever metaphor for my birth and immediate immersion into the Star Wars storyline.

I weighed a whopping 10 lbs at birth and remained rather ‘pudgy’ for my first few years of life. It is therefore necessary to pay tribute to Weird Al with his “Fat” spoof of Michael Jackson’s ill-fated attempt at playing a tough guy.

From there we break into my carefree toddler years with a little pinch of “Relax” courtesy of Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

I hit my Transformers phase at about 5 years old so we’ll throw in some Styx and “Mr. Roboto”.

As I moved on to elementary school I became obsessed with collecting baseball cards so I have to include John Fogerty’s “Centerfield” as I watched Don Mattingly peak in 1986.

Any trip to my toy box would produce dozens of plastic Dinosaurs of which I would routinely ‘feed’ severed G.I. Joe Limbs. How about “Walk the Dinosaur” by Was (Not Was)?

In 1988 I moved from my first home into a much larger one only a few miles away. This phase is aptly set to “Our House in the Middle of the Street” by Talking Heads.

Last but not least we close out the decade with The Beastie Boys and “Fight for Your Right” we can party like it’s 1989. However, the 80′s was a terribly lame decade so this will be the worst party since the Tri-Lambs invited UN Jefferson to the mixer with the Omega Mu’s (Thriller anyone?).

Jeff Ruemeli

The 1980′s huh?…. wow where to start. I mean like, that’s ten years worth of stuff to talk about. And I don’t want to start a five page paper here. I guess we can try to break this down to points.

  • Hair – way too big and lame. Hairspray sucks.
  • Pants – way too tight. Although we’re back to that now. Retro!
  • Businessmen – way too coked out.
  • Colors – way too fluorescent. Colors should not be Hyper.
  • Politics – way too much Reagan…
  • Music – way too much synth. Although who doesn’t love a key-tar?
  • Hammer – way too much Hammer.
  • Me – way too much me. I’m the only Babeler who was alive for ALL of the 80s.
  • The Crüe - way too much drugs.
  • Hogan – way too much Ultimate Warrior.
  • Baseball Card Gum – way too stale.
  • Cougar – way too low on gas man.
  • My pants – way too much Hammer.
  • Dances – way too much safety.
  • T.V. – way too much a modern movie. And I’m still “not the baby”…
  • Phones – way too wired to the wall and not mobile.
  • Computers – way too big and slow with no Internet.
  • My life – way too much being outside and enjoying a life without technology…

Jason Morgan

1980s Fashion Model with Big HairThat 1980s was an era of great cartoons, excellent (but cheesy) movies, big hair, bad and flamboyant fashion, and the last magical era in which being a nerdy, rhythmically-challenged white guy was still cool.

That said, I hereby bestow upon the 1980s the title of “Worst Decade for Fashion Ever.” Knee-high socks, tights, long shirts with belts up around the chest, neon, spandex, huge hair, painfully vivid make-up, and stone-washed denim jeans (tapered with socks tucked in!!) and jackets are all things that should have been left in the past. The current resurgence of some 80s fashion is not only alarming, but sickening. As a child of the 1980s I have many of fond memories from that decade, but the best part about the 80s is that they were over 20 years ago – no need to wear tights anymore!!

And who could forget the illustrious Ronald Reagan? The most presidential of U.S. Presidents, to be sure, but also the greatest actor of all time for fooling people into believing his rhetoric while systematically destroying the middle class through economic means. His ill-fated War on Drugs has led to the largest increase in prisoners in the world’s history (excluding well-known genocidal situations…), with present law-makers rallying against the futility and socially damaging repercussions of Mr. Reagan’s poor domestic policy.

Honorable mention: I personally believe the 80s to be the time period over which Mel Brooks created his best work. I’m not sure how my life would be different without the likes of History of the World: Part 1, Spaceballs, and Blazing Saddles just to name a few, but I am sure it would a whole hell of a lot less humorous.

Up Next

Calling Jason Morgan to Fortress of Ineptitude Solitude.

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Ten Things I Hate about Nintendo

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  1. I hate that your consoles and games become cooler as they get older.
  2. I hate how you have developed awesome little franchise characters that I will purchase your system for regardless of whether I want to or not.
  3. I hate your inability to deliver a game on time.
  4. I hate how you can’t forecast demand for your products.
  5. I hate how you are the video game king of the re-release.
  6. I hate how Mario games get further and further from the spirit which made him famous.
  7. I hate how I can no longer sit on my butt and vegetate when I play your new console.
  8. I hate that I can only play some of your sweetest games on a screen no bigger than 3 inches across, probably smaller.
  9. I hate the lack of synergy between you and Apple.
  10. I hate that you delayed Twilight Princess so long that you decided to make it only worth playing on a system it is impossible to find in the stores because of # 4 above.

It’s a Super Smash Brawl

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Great games do not come around very often…

Smash, Smash, and more Smash – the formula has been simplified this weekend. Hours have been obliterated, characters unlocked and egos permanently damaged. These are the days of our lives and the mission is simple; absolute completion at the risk of total failure. This rare lever of hyper-focus has led to very late nights and a worn out coffee pot. This game is that good. Returning four player mayhem to all its glory, a Golden Age of Gaming that for too long has been held hostage to posterity. In Brawl, Nintendo has a real gem on its hands, and a worthy successor to the popular series.

Of course the hours of multiplayer smashing with your buddies is still in full effect, only this time Nintendo has altered the playing field. Super Smash now boasts a highly satisfying cooperative story mode (The Subspace Emissary) that harkens back to the side scrolling generation of yore. Oddly enough, there is something inherently nostalgic about assuming the role of various franchise heroes engaged in an epic battle of attrition, against an unknown galactic force straight out of Dr. Who.

A small break in the action has given me the opportunity to babel on about this game. Now I need to dive back into the action, there is work to be done before real work smashes me in the face tomorrow.

Oh, and did I mention this game has lag-free online multiplayer action?

And in the meantime check out Jim’s stream of conscious blog storming meanderings if you want to peer into the inner workings of a mad man.

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Pit image courtesy of Flickr user Matthew Ev published under the CC license.

My Favorite Video Games of All-Time

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Super Dodgeball (NES) – My personal favorite NES game. I liked it so much I traded the 1st Zelda for it when I was 8 to none other than fellow Babeler, Greg Molyneux. A far simpler game in a more civilized day, where you sported a 5 player dodgeball team from your country of choice. From there you would just travel the globe competing in dodgeball matches, ‘til death. The key to world domination hinged upon your ability to throw the ball with such force at an opposing player that it would knock their socks off (literally), leaving your opponent departing to the sky in angelic fashion.

MLB 2K5 (XBox) – I have played a bunch of baseball games in my time (RBI Baseball, Triple Play, etc). This game stands sits alone at the top. It was a marriage of sweet graphics and spot on gameplay. As the batter, you have much more control swinging the bat than with previous baseball games; and as the pitcher, you can have pinpoint control with the nastiest pitch ‘you ever did see’. Play as an owner, franchise, or in a regular season; this game has it all.

James Bond: GoldenEye (N64) – The game that put console 1st person shooters on the map. This game vaporized hours of gaming with my friends, shooting one another stabbing each other, and full on destruction with a well placed proximity mine. As an easy to play difficult to master affair, GoldenEye became an instant pop-culture icon. Advanced weaponry with sophisticated controls and a multitude of hallmark characters, like Jaws and OddJob (who of course was the cheapest player to play with) added to the life-consuming glory. Devout completionists were rewarded with some sweet codes; like paintball mode and DK mode?

Contra (NES) – Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, B, A, Select, Start. Oh, how those buttons bring back such nostalgic memories of my childhood with Contra. A great game for the simple fact you and your buddy had fun blowing stuff up and running through the jungle (over and over again) defeating any foe that stood in your path. With all odds against them, Mad Dog and Scorpion, were at war with the Red Falcon Organization where your goal was clear – total carnage. Caution: Beware of level 3 waterfalls.

Super Mario World (SNES) – A classic game where Yoshi, Mario’s pet dinosaur was first introduced to the franchise. Once again, Princess Peach had been kidnapped by Bowser and Mario, aided by Yoshi, ventured out to rescue her. This game offered a larger world (72 levels) than had ever been seen in any previous Mario game, only this time Mario was reveling in his 16-bit glory. This game also introduced the block switches that would prove most strategic throughout this game and has since become an integral feature in the Mario Universe. Once each switch was hit, all the blocks outlined in that respective color would fill in and by divine Nintendo intervention whenever you needed a cape or a fireball you would go hit the block and wa-la, the item popped out.

Halo 2 (XBox) – This game rocked on so many levels. Following the release of the original Halo, this sequel provided similar graphics, music, and a continuing storyline. However, the developers at Bungie focused on improving available weaponry and vehicles. Master Chief’s arsenal was now augmented with alien weaponry, and he could now operate vehicles in the air, making the game far superior to the original. With an important evolution in the story, Master Chief now had the help of the Arbiter (your antagonist from Halo 1) to doubly kick Covenant arse. Most importantly, this game really solidified Xbox Live’s place online, creating an entire Halo universe where people all around the world could compete with each other, and here prepubescent boys shout unnecessary names and noobs.

Road Rash (Sega Genesis) – In its day, the graphics for this game were outstanding, but what made this game stick out was the sheer ability to drive a motorcycle at death defying speeds. Of course skull bashing with bats and chains didn’t hurt either. The object was to win and win at all costs. If you placed then you would win money which you could use to buy better motorcycles. Only problem was that if the police caught you then you would be given a hefty fine and then you wouldn’t be able to afford that new Kawasaki. Make sure you don’t fall off your bike and get ‘BUSTED’ by Officer O’Rourke.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64) – Welcome to the true world of Hyrule as envisioned by legendary game designer Shigeru Miyamoto. Ocarina was innovative and groundbreaking, it implemented lock-on Z targeting, which has set the precedent for 3rd person action games ever since. Finally, players could freely roam Hyrule in 3 dimensions, doing the usual things, like killing off monsters, collecting items and performing side quests to gain heart pieces. Link featured some new twists to his arsenal, gamers wasted hours casting a line in the fishing hole (using the Rumble Pack feature), riding Epona, mastering time, and ultimately fighting evil as a child and an adult. Finally Zelda fans were given an explanation as to where Ganondorf came from (the Gerudo Tribe) and his nefarious rise to power. Ocarina added much needed depth to the Zelda story, enhancing the gamer’s experience and their ability to identify with the characters. It was a landscape littered with puzzles that left you scratching your head for hours and it featured massive temples that were some of the finest in video game history. Of course everyone remembers the futility of figuring out the damned Water Temple. Make sure you get the Lake Hylian eye drops to the Goron so he can make you a ‘true’ Bigoron sword.

Mario 64 (N64) – Finally 3D done right, which was made easier by the N64 rocking! Players were able to adjust the camera, execute wall kicks, and make any array of amazing jumps; including back flip jumps and long jumps. The 1-UPs were plentiful and the boards were not only expansive, but very challenging. Ah, the return of the switch blocks, only this time different caps (Wing Cap, Steel Cap, Vanish Cap) would help you in your mission to rescue Peach. Just remember to not let the darn monkey steal your hat, otherwise you could spend a decent amount of time chasing him down to get it back.

Ninja Gaiden (XBox) – Easily the best video game of all-time. Ninja Gaiden for the XBox had all the ingredients of a masterpiece; exceptional graphics and fluid fighting in an immersive 3D world. The cut scenes for this game were so amazing that I still can’t clean up the drool. You have the ability to hone your fighting skills on a multitude of weapons, ranging from the Katana blade to numchuku. The storyline was terrific as you guided Ryu Hyabusa’s quest to protect the Dragon Blade from the Fiends of the Vigoorian Empire. This game was one of the most challenging and tough games to ever hit a console system. The two hardest parts of the game were 1st when Ryu faced the ‘Greater Fiend Alma’ in the Cathedral, which served as the test to see how far you could go in the game, and 2nd the Military Supply Base, when Ryu had to take on tanks and a helicopter with explosive and AFDS Core arrows. If you could make it past Alma and then the Military Supply Base then you were golden in this game. Remember to use the block button and utilize the counter attacks that Ryu has, for these were the small things that really made you a great ninja.