B Movie Babels: Tremors

The classic Sci Fi movie Tremors staring Kevin Bacon.What do you get when you combine Kevin Bacon, Reba McEntire, and giant flesh-eating worms?  Tremors.

The King of the B Movies, tremors takes us to Perfection, Nevada, a town with a small population that suddenly gets even smaller.

Val and Earl are the local handymen, struggling with the unrelenting monotony of their thankless jobs.  Surely there must be something better for them out there.  After a tank full of septic sludge sprays them with gallons of unquestionable foulness, they finally decide they’ve had enough.  Unfortunately for Val and Earl, the Graboids have come to town and sealed off their only means of escape.

The Graboids are giant, subterranean worms that swim effortlessly through the desert sand at Cheetah-like speeds.  What’s worse, they are incredibly strong, intelligent, and patient.  Living underground, the Graboids have adapted to detect their prey by sensing the tiny seismic ‘tremors’ of their footsteps.

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Now Val and Earl must combine their collective (yet lacking) wits with those of Burt and Heather (the local survivalists), Rhonda (the Geologist), and the rest of the good citizens of Perfection.

This flick pushes the boundary on what is a B Movie.  The terrible theatre performance combined with the massive cult following that showed up too late to make any money qualify Tremors for this category.

Without a doubt the best senseless discharge of excessive ammunition I have ever seen came when one of the Graboids broke into the reckroom of Heather (otherwise known as Reba McEntire) and Burt (AKA Mr. Keaton from Family Ties).   What followed was nothing short of hilarious.  Rifle after shotgun after pistol after flare gun and finally an Elephant Gun are emptied into the mighty worm until it finally relents under the barrage of ammo that was meant for “the war at home.”  Not since Jesse the Body Ventura bit it in Predator has so much ammunition been fired in one awesome montage.

Another priceless, yet commonly overlooked, benefit of this film is the ability to link Kevin Bacon to Reba McEntire in one movie.

Final Score: BBBBB

Five out of Five B’s.

~Man Overboard

B Movie Babels: Feast

Feast on DVDFor the first installment in the B Movie Babels series I have chosen a flick highly recommended by The Movie Whore, an avid movie blogger with a taste (or lack thereof) similar to my own.

The movie is Feast.

What wonderful garbage this movie was.  Although entirely devoid of artistic flavor, this movie kept me entertained and somewhat surprised from start to finish.   The movie does a good job of not wasting any time on petty things like believable names or character development.  It simply flashes screens saying:

Name: Bozo

Job: Not Likely

Occupation: Town Jackass

Life Expectancy: Dead By Dawn

Other amusing characters have names like Bartender, Vet, Tuffy, Hero, Heroine, and Honey Pie.   Having the otherwise bothersome task of character development out of the way, the movie proceeds directly to gore, the hallmark of the film.

Everything seemed like a normal day of self loathing at this dive bar in the middle of the desert when suddenly Hero kicks in the door carrying a shotgun and wearing a shirt covered in blood.  He slams the head of some hideous monster on the bar and then proceeds to bark out orders to call in the National Guard, board up windows, and gather weapons and ammo.  When someone asks “Who the hell are you?”  he replies “I’m the guy that’s gonna save your…”

In unorthodox fashion the hero is abruptly cut off when the monster bursts through the window and bites off his head covering the entire room with blood.  Although it seemed wasteful to kill off the protagonist in the opening phase of the movie, it does get your attention and quickly establishes the monsters as a force to be reckoned with.

Other admirable qualities of this B-movie include:

  1. Henry Rollins in tight pink sweat pants
  2. The uncalled for devouring of a young boy torn from his mothers arms
  3. The best projectile puke sequence since The Exorcist
  4. Admirable use of a bear trap as an offensive weapon
  5. The disembowelment of Treach from Naughty By Nature (not cause I hate ya)

Overall, I would highly recommend this movie to anyone who is fan of gore, zombies, monsters, shotguns, and cheesy one-liners.

Total Score:  BBB

Three out of Five B’s.

~Man Overboard