Tag Archives: news

Recession Proof No More… Beer Sales Down, First Time Ever

Posted on by
1

A Drive-In Liquor Store.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

America is currently experiencing the first major loss in beer sales since beer sales began to be recorded in 1959.

According to FiveThirtyEight.com,

There has generally not been much of a relationship between alcohol purchases and changes in GDP – the correlation is essentially zero. Nor have alcohol purchases historically been any kind of lagging or leading indicator.  But something was very, very different in the fourth quarter of 2008.  Sales of alcohol for off-premises consumption were down by 9.3% from the previous quarter, according to the Commerce Department.  This is absolutely unprecedented: the largest previous drop had been just 3.7%, between the third and fourth quarters of 1991.

What Does This Mean For America?

The unprecedented drop in beer sales will no doubt be one more nail in the coffin of consumer confidence.

[ad#babeled-ad-medium-square]

We are living in a new age of instantaneous information and media transparency. The current economic crisis is unlike any other in our history in that we now have a mass media that reminds all of us of how bad things are getting every minute, rather than every week, or every month. This constant bombardment of negative news is currently acting as a catalyst for the quick and constant erosion of consumer confidence, and in consequence consumer spending.

If the media reports are right, and if we really are entering a global economic downturn feared to be worse than the Great Depression, then I think we all need to crack open a beer and celebrate the good times while they are still around.

If the media is over-exaggerating the future chaos that is in store for our economy, then we should still crack open a beer. Alcohol is a wonder drug when consumed in moderation – it relaxes you and reminds you that the stressful issues and anxieties you thought were of utmost importance previous to consumption really might not be as bad you thought they were.

So then, I propose a toast: Here’s to optimism!…Now go buy some beer and stimulate the economy!

Images used in this Post

Drive In Liquor Store photo courtesy of Flickr user Nrico published under the CC license.

Congratulations Rusty Lime: Finalist for Weblogs 2008 Award

Posted on by
2

The Rusty Lime LogoDuring my rookie year as a blogger, I have been introduced to many other blogs of all different types.  One of those sites is Rusty Lime.

I learned recently that our friends over at Rusty Lime are finalists in the Weblogs 2008 Award for Best Australia or New Zealand Blog.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all the Rusty Limers for all the great content they have put out over the past year and I encourage all of the Babelers and our readers to throw their support behind them and cast a vote in their favor.

The Rusty Limers are a collective of nearly 30 bloggers located all over the world who specialize in “News, Rhetoric, Discussion, Occasional Relevance.”  The layout and programming for the site is outstanding and all done in house.  It is also one of the most user friendly sites I have ever been to.  It even supports mobile devices and is just as easy to navigate on my iPod as it is from my laptop.

Jake, Mike, Friendo, Movie Whore, Joe, and everyone else over there, congratulations and good luck!  The Babelers are pulling for you!

~Man Overboard

Caroline Kennedy: You Know

Posted on by
21

Now, you know, let’s pretend, you know, that umm, Sarah Palin, you know, put out an interview like this.  Imagine, you know, what the press would have done with that one.  You know?

Please tell me this idiot is not going to end up in the Senate.

Just in case you think, you know, I don’t know what I’m talking about, I will throw in some political buzz words like:

NAFTA

Courage

Challenges

Economy

Health Care

Jobs

Education is tough (?)

You know, there are issues that I really care about (?)

Just when you thought the Kennedy Comedy would end with Teddy, along comes Caroline.

~Man Overboard

Karma Slaps OJ Simpson in the Face: Minimum 9 Years in Prison

Posted on by
10

You can’t stop karma. Oh no, you most certainly cannot.

OJ Simpson with a halo around his head.

Yesterday, a Los Angeles judge sentenced Orenthal James Simpson, a 1985 NFL Hall of Famer, to a minimum of nine years, and a maximum of 33 years, in prison for his role in the kidnapping and armed robbery of two sports memorabilia dealers who had collected property stolen from Mr. Simpson and his family.

This conviction was a shock to OJ, who sincerely believed that organizing an armed gang to retrieve his stolen property was justified.

According to OJ’s statement before sentencing,

This was the first time I had an opportunity to catch the guys red-handed who had been stealing from my family.  I had a chance to get some of our property back. Property that over the years we’ve seen being sold on the internet. I didn’t want to steal anything from anyone. I didn’t want to hurt any of these guys.  I just wanted my personal things and I realize that was stupid of me. I didn’t mean to steal anything from anybody and I didn’t know I was doing anything illegal. I thought I was confronting friends and retrieving my property. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of it.

Judge Jackie Brown responded to this by saying,

When you take a gun with you and you take men with you in a show of force, that is not just a ‘Hey give me my stuff back.’ That’s something else and that’s what happened here. (LA Times, 12/5/08)

What makes this spectacle of justice all the more interesting is that 14 years ago Mr. Simpson was acquitted of murder in one of the most controversial legal battles in American history.

During that trial Mr. Simpson had been accused of murdering his ex-wife, Nicole Brown, and her friend, Ron Goldman.  Although there was DNA evidence linking Simpson to the scene of the crime, somehow his lawyers were able to convince the jury that the evidence had been tampered with by the Los Angeles Police Department.

Is this some kind of cosmic payback? A balancing of the karmic scales? The kind of justice we always read about in books, but rarely get to witness in real life?

I’d like to think so.

Image Used in this Post

OJ Simpson image courtesy of Flickr user TedVanPelt published under the CC license.

Ignore Mumbai Attacks and Stay the Course in Pakistan

Posted on by
10

A soldier stands watch on the India Pakistan Border.The more I read into the terrorist attack on Mumbai, India, the more I begin to realize one fact. The terrorists are getting desperate.

First, we need to look at a couple of important recent developments. All political opinions aside, these are the facts:

1.  The US has come very close to victory in Iraq. A security deal was reached, only hours before the attacks, calling for a complete withdrawal of US troops from Iraq by the end of 2011.

2.  Terrorist encampments in Peshawar and other tribal areas of Pakistan are being squeezed. The US and NATO have begun cross-border raids from Afghanistan to the west. Also, the Pakistani military has stepped up their campaign against these terrorists from the East. On top of this, several tribes in the region have begun to deny refuge and in some cases fight against the Taliban and Al Qaeda. Recent retaliatory strikes against these tribes by terrorists only prove that this is happening more and more.

3.  General David Petraeus has been placed in command of US forces in Afghanistan. This man is considered by many to be the architect of the US victory in Iraq and you better believe that Al Qaeda is afraid of this man and the increase in US and NATO forces in the region that is coming with him.

So what is the only recourse of these terrorists? Simple, attack and overthrow Pakistan.

How would they go about doing this? The Pakistani government is going through a rough time. The Benazir Bhouto assassination nearly tore the country apart. Were it not for a careful negotiation between Musharaf and his rivals the country could have very easily slipped into chaos.

This government now stands on shaky ground at best. There is a large population of devout Muslims in Pakistan who are very angry at their government for supporting the US against Al Qaeda and the Taliban. One more straw just might break the camel’s back.

So who do most Pakistanis hate almost as much as America? India.

This attack is the perfect tool to draw India into the fray and further unsettle the Pakistani government. If the government were to suddenly appear to be working with both India and America, then without a doubt, the Pakistani population would be pushed even further into uproar.

The only option is to do nothing. That’s right, do nothing. India is an up and coming superpower and they can take care of themselves. They do not need Pakistani or American support to defend themselves against terrorists. So all we need to do is ignore this attack.

If we ignore this attack, then India is more than capable of sealing off the Eastern boarder of Pakistan. The US and Pakistani government can continue to suffocate the terrorists in Peshawar and without an outright collapse of the Pakistani Government, the Taliban and Al Qaeda will have nowhere to run.

If we play into their hands, then India and Pakistan will shift their focus into some type of mutual security accord, or worse, go to all-out war with each other. Then the Pakistani government will not survive and Radical Islam will seize control of the country and Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal.

Stay the course. We are winning. Read between the lines. The terrorists are getting desperate.

Image Used in this Post

India Pakistan Border image courtesy of Flickr user matthewlees published under the CC license.

~Man Overboard

Wal-Mart Employee Trampled to Death by Black Friday Mob

Posted on by
8

A picture of a Wal-Mart StorefrontThis year it has been taken too far.  Earlier today, a 34 year old man was killed as he attempted to open the doors to the Wal-Mart in the Green Acres Mall in Valley Stream, NY. It was reported that the Mob of obsessed shoppers tore the doors from their hinges and trampled the man who was later pronounced dead. Other reports tell of people side-stepping around the man who lay motionless on the floor and going about their shopping. Others injured in the crowd included a pregnant woman who was taken to the hospital for observation.

I would like to send a message to all those deplorable ingrates who committed this heinous act of cold-blooded consumer insanity. When your loved one opens up that Christmas gift in one month’s time, be sure to tell them that this present, despite being on sale, cost a man his life. Remind your family member that you pounced on a helpless man earning a meager wage so you could be the first one to grab that gift. Tell them that you were able to beat the lines and the traffic this year and all you had to do was take away a son/father/friend from another this Christmas.

You disgusting, wretched, filthy animals. May you rot in the deepest, hottest corners of hell for what you have done. You are the lowest form of human being I can imagine. I only hope that one day, you get to see the bottom of another man’s boot as he steps on your face, caving in your skull for a Tickle Me Elmo.

Image Used in this Post

Wal-Mart image courtesy of Flickr user northernplateguy published under the CC license.

~Man Overboard

Russian Submarine Did Not Have Nuclear Accident

Posted on by
1

On November 8, 2008, there was an accident aboard a Russian Submarine that killed 20 people. The accident was caused by a Freon leak in the fire protection system that killed 20 people aboard the sub.

The sub happened to be powered by a nuclear reactor. The accident had nothing to do with the power plant aboard the vessel. There was no radiation, contamination, Plutonium, or Uranium involved in the accident.

So why then, does every single headline across the globe have the word “Nuclear” in the title?

Fear sells, that’s why.

I am waiting for all the loonies out there to come out of the woodwork and seize the opportunity to take a cheap shot at nuclear power claiming it is unsafe and it’s killing our oceans.

I just can’t understand why the media insists on scaring people with headlines. This was an unfortunate accident and I feel for the men on board and their families but why must it be used to frighten people?

The reactor on board had nothing to do with the accident and the media needs to knock off these cheap scare tactics and start telling the stories for what they are.

How about a headline like:

“Fire Suppression System on Submarine Kills 20” or “Material Once Used in Your Air Conditioner Poisons Sailors.”

Either of these would be more representative of the event. Instead we get “Russia Probes Pacific Nuclear Submarine Accident That Killed 20”

~Man Overboard

Nuclear Fear Monger: Paul R Epstein

Posted on by
8

On November 3, 2008 the New York Times published a letter by one Paul R Epstein, an Instructor in Medicine at Harwavrd University, in which he does his best to conjure up fear using tainted information to scare the public away from Nuclear Energy.

Well, Mr. Epstein, in the words of the great Samuel L. Jackson – “Please, allow me to retort.”

The three reasons he cites are safety, storage, and security. In the interests of being systematic, I shall dissect these false assumptions one at a time:

1. Safety: Mr. Epstein does not mention one iota of fact or one single statistic on this issue. He simply and briefly calls Nuclear “unsafe” and then moves on. Why, you ask? Could it be because there has not been one single public death in nearly 40 years of operation in the American nuclear industry?

To put that in perspective, according to the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission, one child died in 2004 by means of suffocation under a pile of stuffed animals. Given this data, it can be said that more members of the public are killed annually in the United States by Teddy Bears than Nuclear Energy! Surely Mr. Epstein will now publish a dissertation citing the inherent risks to the public posed by Teddy Ruckspin and the corporate conspiracy surrounding Mr. Ruckspin that the government is covering up.  Right, Paul?

2. Storage: Epstein says, “Ten seismic faults lie within a 20-mile radius of Yucca Mountain.” I’m sorry Mr. Epstein, but earthquakes do not destroy mountains. It is very easy to say earthquake and nuclear waste in the same sentence, but I would like to see some documentation as to what exactly an earthquake would do to a hardened facility underneath a mountain other than a potential cave in. Ok, so it caved in. Now what? It’s still buried isn’t it? So what happened? Nothing.

3. Security: Again he offers no facts to support his claim. He merely calls it “insurmountable.” Now observe as I surmount. Anyone who has been to an American Nuclear Power Plant since 9/11 will tell you that there is no more protected facility on this Earth. Besides that, If you claim terrorism as a reason to deny us this resource than you and the New York Times are guilty of using terrorism to scare the public into submission. This, after all, is the same newspaper that accuses President George W. Bush of doing exactly that. I’ve said it before and I will say it again – terrorism is a terrible excuse to not do something. Besides, there are far easier targets that would produce far more damage and visibility than an attack at a nuclear site.

He goes on throughout his letter to try to use issues like startup cost and the environment to make it seem impossible to make nuclear work. What he does not mention is that nuclear is the cleanest means of generating any significant amount of energy available to us. Also, he forgets to tell you that the Nuclear Industry has operated for decades without government subsidies while wind, solar, and Ethanol have all been given grotesque sums of taxpayer dollars for research and development and are still unable to compete with a self sustaining nuclear industry.

Rest assured ladies and gentlemen, people like Dr. Epstein and Alec Baldwin can ramble on and on using words that scare children and statistics that don’t hold water. However, this Babeler believes that most Americans are smart enough to listen to science instead of fear. One day, America will achieve energy independence and Nuclear Power will be at the center of it.

~Man Overboard

Joe the Plumber Will Decide My Vote

Posted on by
72

I am writing this post today in typical Man Overboard fashion. Tonight I go so Overboard as to pledge that my vote, regardless of the outcome, will be decided by “Joe the Plumber.”

For those of you who did not watch the 3rd and last Presidential Debate tonight, Joe the Plumber is the working class man from Ohio who has worked hard his entire life as a plumber. Now, after all these years Joe is finally in a position to potentially buy the business he has worked for during the last decade.

At a rally earlier this week, Joe asked Barack Obama if his taxes would be raised by an Obama presidency. This was Barack Obama’s reply:

My pledge to my readers tonight is this: Joe the Plumber decides my vote.

Here is why:

1. I live in New Jersey and Obama will obviously carry the Garden State in the election, so it won’t matter anyway.

2. I am so confident that any self made man, struggling for a decade and finally in a position to make a better life for himself and his family by starting his own business does not want to “spread the wealth around,” that I am willing to stake my precious, meaningless vote on it.

You heard it here folks. Even if the decision is Obama, Joe the Plumber will decide my vote. I go with the working man from Ohio because I know he will not allow his hard work to be taken from him by the government and given away to those not willing to work as hard as him.

I know this becuase:

  • Joe is a hard working, self made man.
  • Joe does not want to spread it around, he wants to earn it.
  • Joe does not think it is patriotic to pay higher taxes.
  • Joe is not rich, even though Barack Obama thinks so.
  • Joe is not a communist.
  • Joe is not a socialist.
  • Joe is an American.

So tell me Joe. Who am I voting for? It’s your call. I know you’ll make the right choice.

~Man Overboard

5 Reasons Vampires Make Better House Guests than Democrats

Posted on by
7

5. A Vampire can only enter your house if invited. Democrats on the other hand invite themselves into your house, your paycheck, your health care, and your retirement.

4. Although equally allergic to religious icons, a Vampire will flee from a crucifix while a liberal will take up a picket sign.

3. A Vampire will politely and directly suck the blood from your veins. A Democrat will slowly bleed you dry through higher taxes.

2. A Vampire will request his steak rare and bloody. A Democrat will debate you on the ecological consequence of raising cattle to the point where you give up and end up eating another lousy tofu burger.

1. A Vampire’s face will not show up in a photograph. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Rosie O’Donnell.