I imagine that if a NeoCon kept a journal, it would read like this:
August 25, 2008
6:30 am: I had a dream that I helped the Great American (God bless) Sean Hannity kick that slimy liberal Alan Colmes off of Fox. Sean told the masses the Truth, and then he handed me an Obama ’08 tire pressure gauge. I can still feel it in my hand.
6:32 am: The LIBERAL Bohemian sluts stole another McCain ’08 sign off of my lawn. They replaced it with a picture of Jimmy Carter.
If they think their childish antics will stop this Son of Liberty from my Patroitic duty, they have another thing coming to them. Just because they want to get free handouts and leech out of my wallet doesn’t mean I want everyone to. I hope they at least do something useful in the eyes of Jesus and vote for Nader.
7:43 am: I’m eating an omelette (made from AMERICAN eggs), and then Fox News starts talking about how Obama wants us to LOSE in Iraq. I can feel my blood pressure rising, but I keep listening. He wants AMERICAN (God Bless) Troops to retreat from the field of battle. American Troops have NEVER lost a war before (Vietnam was a TIE), but Osbama wants the world to know that we can lose too.
Why doesn’t he just tax the troops until they lose? It’s easier.
9:01 am: Hey, my commute to work was pretty fast today! Don’t tell anyone, but I’ll gladly pay 2 dollars more a day in gas if it means all of the LIBERALS going to the shore will get off the road. But Foreign Oil and the Radical Muslims are evil, so we should still DRILLHEREDRILLNOW to punch them where it really hurts.
11:44 am: A company-wide email just got sent out stating that profits might be a little lower than “expected,” and that we shouldn’t expect our bonuses to be as big as they were last year. What kind of awful times are we living in? This is all Nancy Pelosi’s fault. The direction this country was headed in was great until the LIBERALS took the helm.
My Bermuda vacation will have to be a week and a half instead of 2 weeks. Who can even relax in that time? I’m going to call her office and demand a refund.
12:13 pm: I just went to the centerpiece of American (God Bless) ingenuity: McDonald’s. I don’t know about all of those other fluffy European countries, but America is so strong that we EXPORT our values.
1:01 pm: I need to take the rest of the day off. More later.
1:37 pm: OK. John was in my cubicle, and we were talking about how we would be forced to finally disagree with a President for the first time in 8 years if the Messiah gets elected, and then he said he’d show me something. He wrote this on the chalk board:
and asked me if anything seemed strange. I said everything was fine (well, you know what I mean) but the spacing. He then writes
and my blood chills. My breath goes shallow. I felt the urge to vomit, but I dug deep to the military roots of my cousin’s best friend from the 80′s and I kept it in. I needed to go home from work so that I could do something about this.
This is worse than the Madrassa, funding Hamas, being friends with that guy who bombed the Pentagon, and trying to lose the war in Iraq. This is a warning, put right in front of our faces, and I’m going to do something to stop it.
The LIBERALS of the Great Country of America (God Bless) are going to be sorry for pulling the Blue lever when Obama enslaves the white race.
2:46 pm: I’ve been on hold with Rush for over an hour, and I finally give up. If he’s not going to help me spread the word, I’m going to do that thing the LIBERALS are doing and put it online.
3:17 pm: I’ve been sending emails to all of the major News networks telling them that America (God Bless) is under attack from the LIBERAL forces of darkness. So far they haven’t broken the story on the air. I’ve been flipping through all of the channels. Even Fox News is letting America down.
5:11 pm: I finally get through to the Sean Hannity Show, but the screener says that they don’t have time to put me on the air. I can’t believe it. Maybe he’s going to break the story himself at the DNC and show those traitorous Liberals their REAL Leader at their own gate.
6:13 pm: Steak for dinner! A good start to the week!
9:30 pm: I’m heading to bed. Hours more of expressing outrage online hasn’t seemed to put a dent in the poll numbers that are coming up on Fox. This isn’t over, Osbama Hussein Bi(n La)den.