This little corner of the blog realm has been a cathartic experience. A place to exchange ideas and thoughts with close friends and strangers alike. It has helped me cultivate my web design skills and my ability to put thoughts into words. More importantly, it has shown me that I still have so much more to learn. Often times it is difficult to come up with something clever to write about and that is precisely when you wind up with a pointless meandering, not unlike the drivel you are reading right now. But that is the beauty of the blog.

The best part of course is the engagement with new people; total strangers from anywhere and everywhere. The opportunity to network, branch out, and learn something new is nearly limitless. So is the opportunity to get owned from some faceless (yet heavily pimpled) fifteen year old bandit of the internet. Jack Gamble Man-Overboard (not fifteen although heavily pockmarked), has been doing much of the grassroots networking these days; prowling the depths of StumbleUpon, creating a place for Babeled in Facebook’s blog network, and reaching out to other bloggers.

Active participation in this whole affair as it unfolds is what keeps me coming back for more. Wondering what and who the next post may bring. Even the best of hobbies often end in failure as the initial excitement steadily wanes from an inevitable sense of monotony. Babeling is different, its organic evolution continues to build the excitement over time. Is it strange to find such solace in a community of babelers?

Image Used in this Post

Shakespeare Comic image courtesy of Flickr user cambodia4kidsorg published under the CC license.

For the New York Yankees, who were embarrassed in the final year of a now defunct Yankee Stadium, this pending free agent window promises to be one of the most active in franchise history.  With over $80 million in payroll coming off the books and pressure to improve from a beleaguered fan-base, the Steinbrenners are ready to payout.

Lighting the Stove

Eager to demonstrate a proactive approach spearheaded by an invigorated Brian Cashman, the Yankees already resigned lefty bullpen specialist Damaso Marte yesterday and traded for 27 year old first baseman and outfielder Nick Swisher.  An on-base machine, thanks to his Moneyball development, the switch hitting Swisher might have implications on the Yankees intentions of going after Mark Teixeira. In a conference call this afternoon Cashman stated that Swisher is in fact the Yankee first basemen. Of course this could all be a ploy as the Yankees vie for leverage against super agent and all around nemesis Scott Boras.

The Keystone

All of this is mere white noise when it comes to the main focus of the organization’s off-season plans, which hinge upon C.C. Sabathia.  If rumors are to believed, the Yankees are prepared to offer Sabathia a deal in the 6 year $150 million range, which would make C.C. the highest paid pitcher in baseball.  The 28 year old left-hander would headline a potent rotation that already features Chien-Ming Wang and Joba Chamberlain.  C.C. has stressed a desire to remain close to his family and play in California, ideally staying in the National League. However, large sacks of money with equally large dollar signs tend to change even the most altruistic of minds.

More Pitchers

As far as the starting rotation is concerned, the Yankees will not stop with Sabathia. Cashman has been clear that the team will sign two starters during the off-season, and the remaining free agent pool includes: A.J. Burnett (who can opt-out of his contract with Toronto), Derek Lowe, Andy Pettitte, and Mike Mussina (if he chooses not to retire).  Not only are all four solid starters, but they are all of A.L. East pedigree - the toughest division in baseball.  Here’s the rub: A.J. is injury prone, but he is absolutely lights-out when healthy, at 36 Lowe is aging but more than serviceable, Pettitte and Moose have both stated they will only pitch for New York.  Either way, one of these four will be pitching in the Bronx come April, two if the Yanks are unable to land Sabathia.

What about Tex?

Mark Teixeira, Scott Boras’ mega client this off-season, is looking for a 10 year $200 million deal.  If this is in fact the case, the Yankees must stay away.  They are already tied up with long term contracts to aging superstars, and New York does not need another one. His offensive and defensive talents are not in question, but for the Yanks Tex is only worth it if you can pull the wool over Boras and get Teixeira to sign a 6 year deal.  The problem: no one pulls the wool over Scott Boras.

The Predator Wildcard

Then there is, was, and forever shall be, Manny. Sure it would be a homecoming for the Washington Heights native but the Yankees need to stay away. We already have too many DH types that are forced in to playing the field, diminishing our team defensive ability. Girardi and Cashman are both in concert with their ‘we must get more athletic’ mantra. While the thought of Jeter, A-Rod, and Manny batting 2-3-4 in the lineup is intoxicating, it just is not worth it - even if Manny would hit .550 against the Red Sox.

Some Predictions…

With Sabathia: The Yankees resign Andy Pettitte and make a few other minor moves to solidify their roster. If they still manage to get A.J. Burnett it will be a major coup.

Without Sabathia: The Yankees push hard for A.J. Burnett, resign Pettitte, and veer off course to go after Mark Teixeira. With the immense pressure from Yankee fans and the need to field a championship product in the new stadium (not all of the luxury boxes have been sold after all), the Yankees are forced into signing at least one of the Big Two (Tex and C.C.) this off-season.

Somewhere, somehow, someone is crying out for a salary cap.

A federal consolidation of power will bring about a unique set of opportunities and challenges to our nation.  Depending on where your political beliefs align the new sphere of influence may represent an overdue revolution of ideals or the red dawn of socialism.  Either way, full control of the government is not some mere oversight, although certainly few are made to be aware.  The fairness of balance, facade or not, is an ideal the American Republic is built upon.

What will the Democrats do with their power?

This is the crux of the situation.  However, I contend its course is one that all citizens will benefit from, regardless of political allegiances.  Either the Democrats will be able to make good on their promises, work together and accomplish great works of reform to the benefit of our infrastructure (energy, roads, and transportation being the cornerstones), economy, and leadership on the international stage.  This will assuredly land a second term that will lead to a fundamental overhaul unseen since the New Deal.

Conversely, the Democrats, under the stewardship of Barack Obama, may drop the ball completely; spinning their wheels in what is a political machine that will be proven broken beyond any argument.  Should this result the supermajority will be rendered a total failure and a Republican will be gifted the keys to the White House in four years.   At which point we will be left to place hope in another to mend the torn fabric of America’s belief and trust in its own government.

As an American, hold your leaders accountable.

Whenever either party governs with the power of a supermajority, the vested influence of our government, its people, has a responsibility to hold our government to an even higher standard of conduct and performance.  If in the service of this country our elected officials fail to deliver on empty promises despite the full support of Congress, the people must hold these failed leaders accountable.  To strip them of their office, and replace them with others more suitable to the job.  This is our duty regardless of Party.

As this play unfolds, the question to ask of yourself over our next four years is simple: Is there any wisdom left in the protectors of our freedom? Let that be the notion that guides your will instead of allegiance to Party.

Image Used in this Post

Donkeys image courtesy of Flickr user Dave-F published under the CC license.

Of course, we want to encourage everyone else to do the same.  The steps are simple and the service is FREE.  All one must do to obtain the almighty Gravatar is follow this simple incantation:

1. Traverse the perils of space, time, and the internets to gravatar.com
2. Select the link to Sign up now! - Do not be fooled as it is cleverly named Sign up now!
3. Enter in the e-mail address you use when commenting on various blogs or sites supporting Gravatars.
4. In moments you will receive a confirmation e-mail from Gravatar sent to said address asking you to merrily click the link for activation of your new Gravatar account.
5. Now simply upload a picture, crop it to your liking, click finish and wait a few minutes for your Gravatar to appear.

Once the blood, sweat, and tears that five minutes of sitting down can bring has passed - you too can look like a tool cool when babeling on our site.

I have to admit (falsely), I’ve always been a little hazy about what exactly motorboating is.  Well one trip to YouTube for some visual evidence and WOW! According to urbandictionary.com, motorboating is a term that defines the following torture suave technique.

The placement of one’s face, specifically the mouth, into the area between a well-endowed woman’s breasts, followed by a rapid shaking of the face in a side-to-side motion accompanied by yelling. The resulting sound that is created sounds similar to an outboard boat motor.

Sherry was wearing a low-cut top and Mike approached her and started motorboating in her cleavage.

Wow.  That certainly sounds fun.  In fact, it sounds awesome for the dude who gets to perform it.

Now that we know exactly what motorboating involves, the obvious question that comes to mind is whether it is ever justified to use this technique to hit on or gain the love of a woman?  Some may say yes, some may say no.  For some the issue will be decided by whether that woman is a stripper who is involved in a very-American organization known as a strip club.  After all, what if motorboating could be effectively used to keep these kinds of women employed?

There are no absolute answers to these questions.  This is about motorboating, and mororboating is always personal.  In light of the subjective nature of motorboating, it should come as no surprise that during World War II the United States held a very different stance towards motorboating.

Motorboating did not become widely popular until after World War II. Since then, however, it has grown tremendously, as greater affluence, increased leisure time, and mass production made it possible for more and more people to own motorboats.  (Encyclopedia.com)

The U.S. has clearly changed its stance on motorboating since World War II.  Andrew could call this a decay of morality, others could call it a simple transition from maritime recreation.  The 9:11 showing of (insert stripper’s name here) Twin Towers were the most motorboatable equipment anyone in our country has ever experienced.  Unlike WWII and the nation’s so called obsession with real boats, now our guilty pleasures weren’t confined to water vehicles that could be easily operated with the aid of a map.  They were potentially everywhere, even if primarily located in the Middle East.  When having class is the enemy, the risk of an exponential increase in converts to high-class society is all too scary.  The fact is, class changes the game.  A high-class enemy naturally spoils the fun, which naturally leads one to go home bored on a Friday night.  You can always count on the presence of class to make a person do what they would not normally do, which is become lame.

This is the psychology of motorboating.  It applies to individuals, communities, and nations.

I personally do not agree with the use of motorboating and torture sleaze in general, and I certainly understand why our government is approving this tactic.  Now I want to know what you think.  Talk amongst yourselves.

Obligatory Disclaimer: No animals were hurt in the writing of this post

The Question:

Should we fund a Manhattan-like project that develops a nuclear bomb to deal with global energy and alternative energy or should we fund 100,000 garages across America, the kind of industry and innovation that developed Silicon Valley?

Immediately my interest was piqued and my attention was completely diverted from the mindless drivel of campaign speak. My mind was running; this was a great question.

Tom Brokaw married together two seminal moments in United States history that represent everything that is Holy about our Nation. The nuance of the question captured everything that sets America apart as one thousand points of light unto our global brethren. It reflects the power of our innovation, cultivated in an environment that promotes focus, diligence, creativity, ingenuity and an virtuous ability to rally around a common cause.

The Purpose:

During World War II elite scientists, understanding the nefarious machinations of a strengthening Nazi regime, lead by the pen of Albert Einstein, beseeched Franklin D. Roosevelt to begin constructing an atomic bomb in an immediate and clandestine call to scientific arms. Under a veil of government secrecy, an unrivaled team of physicists made the tough choice to keep massive weapons of destruction solely in the hands of the just. Sometimes morality calls upon the worthy to make the toughest of choices.

After the fall out of World War II subsided and the boon of American prosperity and ingenuity spread, our country flourished; even weathering the storm of a divisive and controversial Vietnam conflict. Communication had stagnated and a need was inherently realized by a new generation of inspired techno-wizards. Young geniuses like Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Bill Gates uniquely executed the American dream from their own covert operation of sorts, hunkered down in their own garage. Like The Manhattan Project before it, enormous leaps in scientific and technological understanding were taking place while the rest of the country unknowingly went about its business.

The Meaning:

In the 1940s the world was saved. In the 1980s the world would come together to talk about it. The chord Tom Brokaw so saliently struck in my mind’s eye was that we, Americans, possess exactly what is needed to conquer the universal crises of both energy and environment. Let the Manhattan Project and the grassroots explosion of Silicon Valley remind us where the real power, strength and honor of this great Nation are forever granted safe harbor; in the will of its people. Only a decade removed from our Revolution, Thomas Jefferson lamented over where the spirit of 1776 had gone. Both these initiatives demonstrated it simply went to rest in the hearts of its people until such needs arise.

Isoroku Yamamoto was both prophetic and wise when he foretold of the Sleeping Giant.

On the first Tuesday of every month the Babelers will be hosting a Babeled On virtual sit-down that will incorporate the mindless drivel of our Founders.

Each month one such Babeler will enter into the Fortress of Solitude and ruminate over a topic that will be submitted to the other Babelers for consideration.

All responses will be handled via direct e-mail so that no discussion can take place between the Babelers until all replies are back in the hands of the topic creator.  This is to maintain the integrity of the discussion and to keep our thoughts in a vacuum.

The responses will then be amassed into post form for all to read and mock.  Every Founding Babeler minus the one who decided upon the topic will respond in whatever manner they deem appropriate.

Once all responses are prepared for release to the masses, the De facto Inquisitor of the monthly Babeled On Series will tag another Babeler who will be responsible for administering the following month’s discussion.

Let’s Get to It

Considering the current state of affairs, politics and the choking economy are on everyone’s mind.  In the spirit of going with what’s hot, I was mulling over a talking point that would be both topical and relevant.  Initially I was thinking of: McCain / Obama / and the Lesser of Two Evils. But I decided I needed to hit harder than that; the People need something with substance. Alas, on the asphalt of Interstate 195, I found exactly what I was looking for - Song(s) that Make you Want to Storm the Castle…

Andrew Blanco

AC/DC “Hells Bells”

This song gets me pumped for a battle I know I’m destined to win. It starts with the ominous church bell tolling.  It feels like the darkest hour of night.  All of the sudden the guitar riff kicks in and you can just see Lord of the Rings style armies getting in position to begin their attack.  Finally the whole band really kicks in and you can see the armies marching forward, slow at first, then a little faster.  Then the chorus - all hell breaks loose on the enemy. BAM!

Jack Gamble - Man Overboard

When performing the obligatory storming of the castle, what better to steer the tide of battle in one’s favor than the theme song to The Last of The Mohicans.

Of course, given my propensity towards brandish and dare I say overzealous execution I will surely fall in battle to which is played the generic death scene melody of Middle Eastern Lady Crying.

Gregory Rineberg

The song that Makes Me Want to Storm the Castle would have to be “For Whom the Bell Tolls” by Metallica.  Molyneux turned me on to Metallica around the age of 15 and I have never looked back.  Although Metallica has made many songs that make me want to storm the castle, the drum beat and the tolling of the bell in “For Whom the Bell Tolls” incite me like no other song.  The opening minute of the song makes me want to bash skulls in and destroy cities beneath my thumb.

Jason Morgan

For me, it is like the Highlander, “There can be only one.”  And that one is “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin. There is something about that haunting screaming by Robert Plant that makes me think of an intense, shrill battle cry as wave after wave of ethereal monsters crash against the thick stone walls of a castle-fortress to the driving beat that the bass line radiates.  Nothing beats it, hands down.

Jeff Ruemeli

This is a helluva question. Too many songs too little time. I got to say I absolutely love “The Day I Tried To Live” by Sound Garden. That is a good jam with some powerful lyrics. I don’t know if it makes me want to storm the castle though… hmmm…

I do get a little pumped for “My Name Is Jonas” by Weezer. “I got a box full of your toys, they’re fresh outta of batteries but they’re still making noise!” That is a hell of a line. That song is simple, fun to play and when it’s done I want to run through the streets screaming “the workers are going home!” And maybe that street is going to take me to the castle… the White Castle. Chops, you comin’ with?

Next Month

Tag, you’re it Jeff.

Image Used in this Post

Castle of Cardona image courtesy of Flickr user wili_hybrid published under the CC license.

1. Manny Ramirez cuts off a lock of hair, places it in his suitcase, and gets arrested for possession of a controlled substance before boarding a chartered flight.

Clearly, Manny has been the beneficiary of drug sniffing dogs that lack a properly functioning olfactory.  I guess airport drug dogs are about as useful as state employees.

2. Bud Selig finally takes some blame for overseeing a rule-breaking, unscrupulous system, instead of taking credit for Baseball’s most prosperous - yet scandalous era. I really cannot believe he was just rewarded with a 3 year extension.

Instant replay? …In baseball? …Really?

3. Derek Jeter and Tom Brady give interviews on each other’s behalf since they both regurgitate the same answer anyway. In fact a life-sized cardboard cut-out depicting each in ‘Wheatiesesque’ fashion concealing a tape recorder would provide a refreshing alternative.

It was more of the same for Derek Jeter, in what many would consider a down year for The Captain.  Although his candor picked up a little bit during the final home-stand as players were saying goodbye to The Stadium and their playoff hopes.

4. Curt Schilling writing many more blogs. This will be recommended rehabilitation for his bum shoulder.

I was dead on with this one.  Schilling’s shoulder might have finally signaled the end for one of the top big game pitchers of this era - and his ego knows this.

5. Francisco Rodriguez establishes a patented break-dance to bust into after each save against a team that is 16 games below .500.

The celebrations were as outlandish as ever.  Along the way K-Rod amassed arguably the greatest single season ever for a closer.  Shattering the previous saves record with unbelievable 62 saves!  Savor it now Angels fans, Franky will be River Dancing for the Mets next season.

6. Jonathan Papelbon comes clean about being actor John Lithgow’s bastard son.

A relatively status quo year for Paps, who is clearly an elite closer.

7. The YESNetwork heeds the words of Michael Kay’s contrived home run call and says, “SEEEE YAAAA” to the bum. Sorry Michael, but you were much better on radio - where the size of your head was better obstructed by John Sterling’s loud screaming.

I actually found Micheal ‘The Head’ Kay more tolerable this year - which is remarkable considering how terrible the Yankees performed.  I just love it when Paul O’Neill tears Kay a new one during the three games he actually announces for YES.

8. Umpires stop warning both benches after one pitcher throws inside. Seriously, baseball needs to get back to business and allow players to enforce the game. I mean come on, has steroids made these players soft?

The guys in blue took a positive step this year. One game had 7 hits batsmen over 9 innings, with neither bench warned.  And this was a Yankees - Red Sox affair!

9. Jose Canseco finally gets what’s coming to him. Sorry buddy, while much of what you spew is true, no one likes a rat. Please see Dante’s Inferno to understand what Hell has in store for those who betray their benefactors. That’s right, you don’t know how to read.

I can’t believe I wasted my fingers tips on this douche seven months ago.

10. Larry Lucchiano and John Henry realize they transformed the once proud Red Sox Nation into everything they hate - the Yankees.

They are currently fighting for a 3rd World Championship in 5 years.  That sounds pretty dynastic to me.

11. Derek Jeter, er Tom Brady’s cardboard cut-out, announces 2008 will be the last year he plays Shortstop at Old Yankee Stadium. Sabermetric guru’s everywhere rejoice, until they realize the 2009 season will be played in New Yankee Stadium. Which brings me to my next point.

Shockingly, Jeter’s defensive measures have been better than ever this year.  Which still isn’t to say that they were good.

12. Stan Lee unveils Marvel’s latest comic dynasty, SaberMetric. Rob Neyer is honored to hear Derek Jeter’s defense will be the prime antagonist. It is after all true, inferior zone rating can bring about the end of the Universe.

This is the single biggest disappointment of the season.

13. Ichiro continues to look 15.

Completely true, and this trend will continue for the next 22 years.  Man did Seattle suck this year.

14. Sports analysts actually explain the concepts of Moneyball and VORP to the casual fan. I have an inclination that they do not quite understand themselves. There is no room for Voodoo in baseball anyway - sorry Jobu.

Still not much in the way of mainstream discussion of these statistical advancements during broadcasts.  Viewers are still subjected to the drivel of Joe Morgan on a weekly basis.  “You know Jon (Miller), first baseman catch balls thrown at them from the other guys on the infield; that’s what a first baseman does.”

15. A thorough explanation into why playing Fantasy Baseball is cool, but engaging in MMORPG attrition is not. I mean both universe’s are equally fake.

Still waiting.  But not patiently.

16. Troy Tulowitzki and Hanley Ramirez both get more ESPN exposure. The National League really has some great shortstops (Jimmy Rollins, Jose Reyes, Adam Everett). Too bad that’s all the NL has going for it.

Let’s take a look at the splits (Batting Average / On Base Percentatge / Slugging Percentatage):

• Tulowitzki: .263/.332/.401 - Troy I think you need to buy more of Derek Jeter’s cologne.
• Ramirez: .301/.400/.540 - Unbelievable numbers for a shortstop.
• Rollins: .277/.349./.437 - A down year for Jimmy, who had a tough year with the Philadelphia fans.
• Reyes: .297/.358/.475 - A typical year for the Mets shortstop.
• Everett: .213/.278/.323 - Went over the the Twins (AL) and sucked.

The National League is more competitive than it has been in years, but they still lost another All Star game.

17. Speaking of the NL, with Joe Torre out of New York and off to Los Angeles, Willie Randolph needs to find his pulse and light a fire under his Mets. There is too much talent going to waste there, especially with the addition of Johan Santana. There will be no collapse this year.

Wow.  I mean what can I say.  Not only was Willie Randolph fired mid-season, but the Mets still found a way to collapse.  If the Red Sox are the new Yankees; then the Mets are the old Red Sox.  Chew on that brain bender for a while, and I recommend putting on a helmet to do so.

18. More on Santana, can we all applaud Twins General Manager Bill Smith for upholding a long held baseball cliché? With the trade packages offered by the Red Sox and the Yankees, you should have struck while the iron was hot.

Johan was Johan, meanwhile Bill Smith looks like a genius (for now) considering Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy combined for a massive ZERO wins this season.  Hughes will bounce back next year, Kennedy however seems like a lost cause in New York.

Oh and CF Carlos Gomez, who was sent over from the Mets as part of the deal, is going to be a real player.

19. Roger Clemens, I don’t care what you have to say, but I bet Congress cares about your syringes.

Talk about a fall from Grace.

20. Manny, for the love of God, please pretend there is something in your eye the next time you launch a 440 foot home run onto Lansdowne Street, just standing at the plate looking like the Predator is obnoxious.

Now he is just styling and profiling on the left coast. With his increased Hollywood exposure, perhaps the lead role in the next Alien vs. Predator is not out of the question.

It looks like Manny is going to need a new Driver’s License.

21. Albert ‘Winnie the’ Pujols returns to his familiar self, crushing the hopes and dreams of NL pitchers nationwide.

• Prince Albert’s splits: .357/.462/.653 - Who is A-Rod?

22. In a long awaited tirade, Joe Girardi kicks the New York media out of his office after the Yankees first two game slide. Of course the impetus of this mess occurred when reporters asked Joe if he felt his job was in jeopardy. Did I mention this all takes place after the second game of the season.

Well it might not have happened on the second day of the season, but Girardi’s relationship with the media was and still is lukewarm at best.  By the end of the season the beat writers’ had had it with Girardi’s ambiguous statements and half-truths when it came to player injuries.  Peter Abraham, an outstanding beat writer and blogger, sums up the situation nicely on The Lohud Yankees Blog:

Asked about his relationship with the media, Girardi said: “I think it’s pretty good. I think I’m comfortable with the media and the media is comfortable with me. You take away (the injury issue) and I think it’s outstanding.”

Outstanding? Meanwhile, Cashman said several times yesterday, including on WFAN, that Girardi needs to improve how he deals with the press because it’s important in the New York market. Forget what I think, that’s the GM talking.

23. Major League Baseball sends Old Yankee Stadium out in style - with Bud Selig announcing he personally injected his comb-over with performance enhancing drugs.

The All-Star ceremony was outstanding, plain and simple.  And the show Josh Hamilton put on during the Home Run Derby was other-worldly.

What was with Alex Rodriguez leaving the ballpark after the 5th inning of the All Star game?

24. Seriously though, special tribute must be paid to the Museum of Baseball during the All Star celebration in New York this year.

Not only did MLB get it right, I also felt the Yankee organization had an almost successful send-off at year end.  The snub of Joe Torre during the near two hour ceremony was a bit petty though.

Of note, Captain Derek Jeter addressed the crowd with a terrific speach and then led his teammates around The Stadium one final time to say goodbye to a mythical place. It was an emotional night.

25. Eric Byrnes does more special guest appearances on various sports shows. I don’t know what it is about Byrnes, but the guy is hilarious. I think it is because he looks like Side Show Bob and acts like my retarded friends from High School. All that aside, he is a damned good left fielder on an exciting young baseball team.

The D-Backs started out hot and then faded away in a terrible division.  I did not hear much of Byrnes this year either - disappointing.

26. Speaking of which, Diamondbacks outfielder Justin Upton is going to be an outstanding baseball player for a very long time.

• The splits: .250/.353/.463 - Remember Upton just turned 21, this kid will be a Star.

27. Hollywood Joe Torre becomes the official spokesman of Bigelow Tea.

Done.

28. Andruw Jones awakens from his coma, remembers he is a Hall of Famer in his prime and realizes he can still hit a baseball.

• The splits: .158/.256/.249 - Nope.

29. Scott Boras curses Poseidon and gets cast adrift on a ten year Odyssey to his Bank. I really can’t stand that guy.

He is going to make bank this off season with the Mark Teixeira sweepstakes.

Oh, and he is Manny’s agent too.

Him and Drew Rosenhaus must dine together on a weekly basis.  Are their two other agents that are more divisive?

30. Grady Sizemore makes a bid for the American League MVP. Great young players are the real key to the game’s success (sorry it’s not you Bud Selig).

• The splits: .268/.374/.502 - A very good season but not worthy of even shaking the hand of the MVP.

31. David Ortiz hits a shot right into Ted Williams’ red seat. Hard to believe but I am a Big Papi fan. A great heart with one hell of a swing. Honestly, Ortiz represents the Hiroshima Effect, knock your opponent into submission enough times and they become your biggest ally.

Big Papi was hurt much of the season, but expect some big time hits for the Red Sox in the postseason. The dude is a winner and he doesn’t quit on his team.

32. A-Rod continues his torrid abuse of mediocre pitching, along with his conquering of Toronto blondes.

Well it wasn’t quite Toronto blondes this year, instead it was the Material Blonde.  A-Rod divorced his wife Cynthia to land in the lap of the Catholic Church’s favorite Kaballist, Madonna.

2017 folks.

33. Joba Chamberlain proves he is the real deal, whether it is in the rotation or in the pen. His slider gives me nightmares.

100.1 innings pitched with a 2.60 ERA splitting time in the rotation and the bullpen.  His barking shoulder is cause for concern. To bullpen or not to bullpen, that is the question.

34. Johan Santana’s arm detaches as a result of throwing 900 plus innings over the last 4 years. Baseball player’s are just not equipped for that kind of abuse anymore. At least he has a 6 year $137.5 million deal to ease his pain.

234.1 innings pitched for the man of steal and the Mets still couldn’t make the playoffs.

35. A-Rod opts out of his $275 million contract after he is abused by dominant pitching. Fausto Carmona has the nastiest sinker in the league.

Not quite, but the boo-birds have crept back into Yankee Stadium.  The question is, whether the boos and the ghosts move next door?

36. Another insect infestation helps the Cleveland Indians advance further into the playoffs. Only this time, it is the Red Sox who are victimized after the bugs try to nest in Manny’s hair. Except this time it will be followed up by a rule change allowing the Red Sox to advance thanks to the freshly minted Act of God Clause (we hate the Yankees) during the game.

Well, the Indians were a flop and Manny is a Dodger; dreads still in tact.  Next question.

37. The Cubs unbelievable drought continues.

Dominant regular season turned playoff flop. Lou’s Cubs are one loss away from elimination at the hands of Torre’s Dodgers.  Does this sound familiar to the folks on the North Side?  How is it that the lesser team manages to be the greater team?  Only in the Second City (Chicago for those of you that are geographically challenged).

38. A lineup featuring Gary Sheffield, Maglio Ordonez, and Miguel Cabrera gets arrested for involuntary manslaughter of left handed American League pitching. That is one brutal gauntlet right there.

Was there a bigger disappointment than this team?  My predicting sucks.

39. The Minnesota Twins realize plans for an outdoor stadium are ill conceived, but no one seems to care since the richest owner in baseball is too damn cheap to keep his best players. Imagine what that team would do if they actually spent some cash? Nevertheless, their player development staff should be commended.

This team of consistent over-achievers forced a one game playoff against the Chicago White Sox, ultimately to lose the division.  Either way this team and its ability to win with little support from ownership is amazing.

40. Red Sox Nation faces a moral quandary when Golden Boy Tom Brady comes into Fenway wearing a Yankee hat.

There is a brewing bromance between A-Rod and Tom.

41. Meanwhile that very hat and Gisele Bündchen will prompt a victory parade down the Canyon of Heroes.

My Yankees didn’t even make the playoffs.  No more 52 point lists for me.

And should we feel bad for Tom Brady?  Out for the entire season means he has to spend more quality time with Gisele…

42. The same can be said for Lebron James in Cleveland.

Nope!  But the Lakers vs. Celtics NBA Finals was pretty sweet.  OK, I didn’t watch.

43. Hank Steinbrenner continues providing the New York Media with one sound bite after another. “Hold on a second guys I just gotta wipe…”

All talk and no substance.  This guy couldn’t even show up for the final game ever played at Yankee Stadium.  Younger brother Hal is proving himself to be the real owner.

Oh, and Hammerin’ Hank wasn’t at the All Star game either. This tool is a fraud.

44. The Kansas City Royals continue to return small market glory.

This is true, in a relative sense.  This is Kansas City after all and 75-87 really isn’t that bad. Once the Kauffman Stadium renovation is complete hopefully a little more money will be pumped into this proud organization.

45. The Florida Marlins quickly dash those hopes.

84-77.  The Marlins and the Twins are simply amazing.

46. Where have you gone Baltimore Orioles? But do not fret you are not as awful as the Yankees were in the 80s. Eric Bedard makes hitters look foolish - too bad you guys traded him to the Mariners.

Bedard sucked this year, the Orioles scored only 7 less runs than the Yankees, and Nick Markakis is outstanding.

47. The Orioles may lose 100 games this season - they have that going for them, which is nice.

They lost 93, close.

48. Dontrelle Willis adds fire to an already intimidating pitching staff.

Completely, 100%, no doubt about it, dead wrong.  This guy was banished to A ball this season - and not to rehab an injury.  Dontrelle may be done, period. I mean what happened?

49. Jon Garland’s addition to the Angels will be significant as well.

Garland went 14-8 for the Halo’s but more importantly ate up 196.2 innings for the league’s most balanced pitching staff. The Angels really seemed like the team to beat until they begun playing the Red Sox in the postseason.

50. Curt Schilling puts up a new blog post.

Schilling’s real and virtual mouth ran wild this season despite not throwing a single inning. When will this guy retire and just go into politics.

51. When spring training starts, Manny will show up late - except there will be nothing fashionable about it.

Manny all but quit on his Boston teammates and forced to be traded.  He will be rewarded for it with a massive contract next season (probably in New York).

52. Prince Fielder continues his Reign of Terror on the NL Central.

• The splits: .276/.372/.507 - But it was Ryan Braun who really carried the Brewers.

Images Used in this Post

Derek Jeter image courtesy of Flickr user Rafael Amado Deras published under the CC license.

Manny Ramirez’s Driver’s License image courtesy of Flickr user BallGame68 published under the CC license.

Colt Forty Fineberg, the world wants to know…

Greg Molyneux (GM) asks: From where do you hail?

Gregory Rineberg (GR): I hail from Central Jersey.  I grew up in Highland Park and Marlboro.  I went to college in Piscataway, I lived in Matawan for a short stint, and now I live down here in Tuckerton.

GM: What was going through your head as you tripped over first base in Little League after going hitless for the entire season?

GR: I was practically in tears and very, very embarrassed.  After making contact with the ball I hustled down the line so hard that when I reached first base, my foot got snagged up and I did a half-assed flip over first.  The entire stadium was laughing at me and I ran back to the dugout completely ashamed.

GM: Where did you go to College and what was your major?

GR: Rutgers University and Classics.

GM: How would you describe your college experience as a whole?

GR: Hmm… very hazy . . . . Can you please repeat the question?

GM: How do you currently serve the real world as a productive member of society?

GR: I recycle, don’t abuse energy, drive a fuel efficient car and donate money out of every paycheck to a charity for the Home Depot.  I do the small things like hold doors for old and pregnant women as well as help strangers in need.

GM: Boston Red Sox or Dallas Cowboys?

GR: A douche and a turd sandwich come to mind, but I’ll have to say Boston Red Sox.

GM: Who is the culprit that first introduced you to Fantasy Sports?

GR: My old college roommate Gary - he still plays like 5 different leagues in each sport every year.

GM: Your biggest role model that you have never met?

GR: Hands down it’s got to be Abraham Lincoln.

GM: Is it true that you once despised the idea of blogging?

GR: Yes it’s true.  I thought that it was impure media and nonsense.

GM: If you could be in a foxhole with anyone, who would it be?

GR: Kate Beckinsale.

GM: Waterboarding or solitary confinement?

GR: Waterboarding.

GM: Roman Republic or Roman Empire?

GR: Roman Republic.

GM: What was your best vacation and why?

GR: Israel.  Climbing Masada and swimming in the Dead Sea were great life experiences.  Being a Classics major, I really enjoyed the history that surrounded the area.

GM: What does Babeled mean to you?

GR: It means to talk about nothing in particular and about something that has no bearing on anything of importance, but perhaps somebody will enjoy reading it.

GM: What are your 5 favorite websites?

GR:

1. Yahoo!
2. Google
3. Facebook
4. The Movie Whore
5. Babeled

GM: Can you tell us your favorite nickname and why you have so many?

GR: That’s a tough one.  I guess it would have to be The Child.  I have so many because I probably make an ass out of myself often and people feel comfortable naming me.

GM: And for the record, when did Gorillas first invent bows and arrows?

GR: Ok…ok I get my Chops busted all the time about this one (Chops is another nickname of mine).  About 4 or 5 years ago after watching something on a learning channel, I was having a discussion with my friends about evolution and adaptations.  And I made the bonehead statement saying that gorillas invented bows and arrows 25, 000 years ago in order to hunt.  I based this on the fact that monkeys and chimpanzees fight with sticks, in a sword fighting way, and they throw rocks.

There you have it folks, (insert response type here) from the Czar of Common Sense himself, Gregory Rineberg.

Now that my ironclad credentials have been firmly established, let’s talk some gridiron.  Just two weeks into the regular season it is clear that 3 of the 5 best teams in the NFL; the Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles, and New York Giants, hail from the NFC East.  Honorable mention goes to the Washington Redskins who could probably reign as division champs in some of the lesser divisions around the league - I’m talking about you NFC West.

Prolific Offenses

Last week, the Big Three (Dallas, Philly, and New York) combined for 119 points

• Dallas is 2nd in the NFL in total offense, averaging 433.5 YPG (Yards Per Game)
  • The Cowboys are averaging 34.5 PPG (Points Per Game), fourth best in the NFL.
  • QB Tony Romo has thrown for 632 yards to the tune of a 113.1 passer rating which is good for seventh in the league.
  • Terrell Owens will be eating plenty of popcorn this year.

• Philadelphia is 3rd in the NFL in total offense, racking up 429.5 YPG
  • The Eagles are putting up a staggering 37.5 PPG, second best in the league.
  • Maligned QB Donovan McNabb, who many wanted traded during the off-season, is leading a dynamic aerial attack.  McNabb has hung 642 passing yards on opposing defenses to the tune of a 114.1 passer rating, ranking him 6th in the league.
  • By the way, McNabb is doing this with both of his starting wide-outs sidelined to start the season.
  • Idiotic premature Touchdown celebration aside, WR DeShaun Jackson is a stud.
  • Brian Westbrook possess all of the physical assets that made TiVi Barber a great natural running back.

• New York is 4th in total offense, piling up 397.5 YPG
  • The Giants are sixth in the league in scoring, averaging 28.5 PPG - slackers…
  • QB Eli Manning who was unremarkable in his first start leads the entire NFL in fourth quarter passer rating with a 150.1 mark! Say what you want about little Eli and his wounded ducks, but he is clutch.
  • The three-headed monster of Earth, Wind, and Fire (Brandon Jacobs, Derrick Ward, and Amhad Bradshaw) easily make up the best running back trio in football.  Defensive coordinators around the league have been put on notice.

• Bringing up the rear, Washington is 11th in total offense with 332 YPG.
  • The Redskins are twentieth in the NFL scoring only 18 PPG.  Remember, the Giants held them to 7 points in week 1, but they responded nicely beating a tough New Orleans Saints team in an exciting week 2 match-up.
  • QB Jason Campbell is progressing nicely this season and is sporting a 94.3 passer rating, putting him just ahead of division rival Eli Manning

This is the NFC East and they Also Play Defense

All four NFC East teams rank in the top 14 in Total Defense

• The Giants rank 3rd giving up 205 YPG
  • Player to watch: Defensive End Justin Tuck - he just might be one of the most physically gifted defenders in the game.  As an able student of Michael Strahan, Tuck’s combination of speed, power, and awareness make him unstoppable.
  • The Giants formidable pass rush and underrated secondary has been molded by Defensive Coordinator Steve Spagnuolo, who in my opinion is the most gifted coordinator in all of football.  This unit is once again feared as it was in the 1980s.

• The Cowboys are 10th yielding 271 YPG
  • Player to watch: Outside Linebacker DeMarcus Ware - he is the anchor to the Cowboys 3-4 defense.  He is a natural pass rusher that is underrated in his ability to play the run.
  • The acquisition of Zach Thomas gives Dallas one of the best linebacker corps in the league.

• The Eagles are 11th at 273 YPG
  • Player to watch: Former New England Patriots Cornerback Asante Samuel - he brings big play potential to the Eagles secondary which is still anchored by the Hall of Fame lock Brian Dawkins.
  • Defensive Coordinator Jimmy Johnson, who was Spagnuolo’s mentor in Philadelphia knows how to build a blitz happy defense.  He will have his troops performing at a high level all season long.

• The Redskins are 14th with 302 YPG
  • Player to watch: Jason Taylor - this pass rushing Defensive End was brought in from the Miami Dolphins, while the ladies might remember him from Dancing with the Stars, Quarterbacks remember him for his skillful pass rushing abilities.  As an undersized DE, his one weakness is playing the run, which may be a problem in the NFC East.
  • Will an aged defense be able to hang in there for the long haul of the regular season?

• Note: the higher numbers yielded by Dallas, Philadelphia, and Washington result from the fact that they have already faced the potent offenses of other NFC East teams early in the 2008 season.  With tremendous talent and coaching on the defensive side of the ball, those numbers will almost certainly improve against less prominent offenses.

Question Marks Surrounding Each Team

Can the Dallas Cowboys, a team of superstars, build the chemistry to go the distance? This team may likely suffer from the post dynasty New York Yankees syndrome; a team of great individuals will get you wins but it will not go the distance.

Can Donovan McNabb stay healthy? There is death, taxes, and a McNabb season-ending injury. With Donovan playing better now than he has in years, McNabb is more vital to the success of the Eagles than ever before.  There will be no back-up quarterback heroics this year; however, with McNabb demonstrating more pocket passing tendencies than usual, things are looking up in Philadelphia.

Can the Giants withstand the loss of Jeremy Shockey, Michael Strahan, and Osi Umenyiora while contending with a Super Bowl schedule? Skeptics are still convinced last year was a fluke and with many of their best players gone, doubt New York has what is takes to repeat.  However, this team is well-coached, disciplined, and has tremendous team chemistry.  They are much better than some people refuse to realize.

Can Jason Campbell adapt to another offensive scheme? The Redskins change offenses annually it seems, and young Jason Campbell now finds himself learning the West Coast Offense under Jim Zorn.  Football is complex and there are always growing pains learning a new system.  I had heard that this is the seventh scheme Campbell has had to play under since his Freshman year in College - that is amazing.