A letter from Rinechops to the Babelonians . . .
Have you ever found youself wondering how certain shows and movies are made about people who have nothing to offer. And you say “Man, what the hell? They should make a movie about me… at least it would be funnier.
Well it happened. You finally got your big break! Somebody actually finds you interesting enough to make a movie based on your life. So my question to you, my fellow Babelers, is who would you cast to play your role in a major motion picture based off of your life?
Greg Molyneux
Charlton Heston. Because yes my life is that awesome. There is not a single person currently working in Hollywood that could better portray my unbridled epicness than Spartacus ‘Moses’ Hur himself. Throughout the entire film, which will mostly involve commuting back and forth to work in a chariot, the stoic Heston will don a red robe and a massive beard (neither of which I actually posses). This will be for dramatic effect of course, to more accurately mold the bathos of the film. That’s right, I used bathos in a sentence.
My foreign love interest will be played by Sophia Loren (circa 1960). There will be love scenes – lot’s of them.
As far as the plot goes, there won’t be one: think Spinal Tap without the point. Much of the dialog will be lifted quotes from Caddyshack and the rest of the dialog will be used to rip apart Caddyshack II with an occasional Star Wars reference thrown in for good measure. Considering the overall lack of scenery in my day-to-day the sets will be very Spartan; one small bedroom, one 8-by-8 cubicle and one Hyundai Elantra.
This will be film making at its finest, this is a gritty as it gets.
The Title: Do You Have An X In Your Name?
Jeff Ruemeli
The actor to play me would have to be Jonny Depp. He always draws a box office crowd. The more money the movie makes the more money I make. And that’s how we roll in, The Jeff Ruemeli Movie: The Birth of the Ruemelifier. Coming this summer….
The Movie Whore
This is actually a tough one. I want to be realistic to not only my average looks but also some one that can capture my personality. I am going to be honest here, I am a hard person to hang out with. For one I never shut up and when someone else does get a chance to speak, I always have something to say in response. Whether it is talking about something similar or just to throw in a zinger or go off on some wild tangent for several minutes. If you have seen any of the Ask The Movie Whore bits, realize that The Movie Whore is not a character I came up with. It is not a faceless identity. I am The Movie Whore everyday in everything I do. Hell, my fantasy football team this year will be named The Movie Whore Street Walkers.
So yes, trying to come up with an actor that can capture the silly madness that is me and yet still pull off the every other side of my personality, hmm… I think I would have to pick one of 3 cats. John Cusack, Michael Keaton or Robin Williams. Hell if you could roll all three into one guy that would be the perfect actor to play me in a movie.
Thanks to Greg and the rest of the Babelers for including me on this one.
Hope all is well in your world. I am off to finish my coffee.
“He’s innocent.”
“And what makes you so sure of that?”
“I’ve fished with him.”
Be sure to check out The Movie Whore’s website @ http://themoviewhore.com
Up Next . . .
Paging Mr. Morgan . . . Paging Mr. Morgan . . .
Images Used in this Post
Primate image courtesy of Flickr user A National Acrobat published under the CC license.
Johnny Depp image courtesy of Flickr user A TempletonPhoto.com published under the CC license.
16 Comments
Who would you pick to play you if you were me and I were you and there was no one around to stop you?
Now then who would you guys pick to play me in a movie?
This should be good for a few laughs.
I am starting this casting call with Jason Lee.
interesting choice. I can’t say i disagree.
If you’re up for it, e-mail your thoughts on who best can play the role of Jim and we’ll throw it up on the post. Your unique brand of movie wisdom would be a great addition to this post.
Jim, I agree. I look forward to see who you would cast to play you in a movie.
will do
Haha I would probably pick Jason Alexander to play me in a movie. It’s embarrassing to say but his life and personality as “Cant-stan-zya” is right on par with my life. I also lack the necessary faculties as he does to adapt well in unusual environments.
Just start doing the opposite of whatever it is you think you should do. Next thing you know, you’ll be the assistant to the traveling secretary of the New York Yankees.
hahaha….my dream job.
@ TMW – your mention of Keaton has me immediately thinking of Mr. Mom. I’d imagine you’d be offering me Scotch if I dropped by at 7 in the morning.
More like a bowl. But I like your heads at.
I was actually thinking of Keaton when it comes to capturing my anger. No one does straight up pissed off, I’ve had enough of this sh*t better than Keaton.
“You wanna get nuts? Come on! Let’s get nuts!”
Something like that
I would pick Snoop Dogg to play me in my biographical movie.
I am Indian so i’m left with no choice but to choose Dev Patel, the Slumdog Millionaire teenage kid…with nerdy glasses..