B Movie Babels: Day of the Dead (2008)

Today I was utterly shocked and chagrined when, for the first time in my life, I did not enjoy a zombie movie.  Day of the Dead (2008) was a disgraceful remake of the the George Romero classic, Day of the Dead (1985).

Really, the only similarity between the two movies was the inclusion of the B Movie standard issue underground military complex that used to be a missle silo converted into a bilogical weapons research facility (yeah, another one of those).

The entire movie is sadly just cookie-cutter zombie plot with no surprises, originality, or anything resembling quality zombie flick goodness.

On paper the movie looked great.  The second zombie movie ever to cast Ving Rhames (awesome), military quarantine (ok, we’re doing good), Mena Suvari (American Beauty girl is attractive enough), and Nick Cannon – STOP!

Nick Cannon!  Oh no, tell me you didn’t.  Yes, they did.  They also saw fit to overload the movie with Cannon’s signature ethnic humor which, of course, sucks beyond description.

Not only that, but they didn’t even have the common courtesy to make Cannon’s death scene occur early in the flick.  Quite the opposite, I’m afraid.  Some B Movie brainiac actually thought it would be a good idea to kill off Ving Rhames early in the movie, thus eliminating any and all coolness in the first half hour of this disaster.  Although they did hold true to zombie doctrine and make Zombie Ving a legless yet bad ass zombie, the rest of the movie was in clear violation of the 10 Zombie Commandments.

1.  The makeshift fortifications were garbage and did not hold for more than a few moments.

2.  They did not immediately put a bullet in the head of bitten victims.

3.  Nick Cannon’s improvised bone saw weapon was far to flimsy to inflict the level of damage the movie displayed and was just all around poor zombie form.

4.  Ammunition was of course wasted and became more aggravating throughout the movie

5.  A vegetarian zombie! WHAT! I will not bother to expend the amount of energy needed to generate an adequate Man Overboard reaction to this obvious infiltration of liberal herbivorism into my sacred refuge of carnivorous zombie cinema.

For these crimes against humanity, I hereby sentence Day of the Dead (2008) to

Total Score:  BB

Two out of five B’s

I did manage to crack a smile during Cannon’s much anticipated death scene combined with the casting of Ving Rhames providing for the recognition of two B’s.

~Man Overboard