I Hate Facebook Because

The Facebook Logo

1. SomeBoringPerson threw a snow ball at you!

Super!  Now I get to load more worthless software on my computer so I can return imaginary fire and at the same time expose 5 of my other friends to the same worthless application.

2. TreeHuggerBuddyFromCollege wants you to support the cause Save the North American Poop Eating Insect.

No thanks, some species need to go extinct and my adding a name to a list on Facebook will not help in any way.  If I wanted to join a cause it would be the cause Support Banning Causes from Facebook.

3. What Sexually Transmitted Disease are You?

You are Herpes.  You are persistent, irritating, and you rear your ugly face at inopportune times.  Would you like to add this to your profile?

4. Take My Movie Quiz.

Now, ask me again if I care what color dress Molly Ringwald wore in The Breakfast Club.  Then go kill yourself and spare the world your continued existence.

5. Some idiot relative tagged you in an embarrassing photo from your youth.

Hey, jerk weed, my coworkers can all see that now.  Thanks for nothing!

6. I never liked you.

I didn’t like you when I last saw you 8 years ago.  So why would I want to stay in touch with you now?

7. The Banning of Breastfeeding Photos.

Although I don’t necessarily enjoy a breastfeeding photo, this ban is just downright stupid.  I think it would be a better idea to ban the pucker-faced mirror shots of some young hussy trying to look cute.

8. Gregory Rineberg is in the shower… TTYL.

Seriously, why would anyone care about the mundane details of life posted for all to see as if we are on the edge of our seats, captivated by your daily routine?  Greg, I really didn’t need to know that.  Thanks for the visual.

9. I am completely and utterly addicted to Facebook.

Despite all my reservations, I still want you to join my group and follow Babeled on NetworkedBlogs.  The shameless self-promotion never ends.  Damn you, Facebook, damn you.

Image Used in this Post

Facebook Logo image courtesy of Flickr user Andrew Feinberg published under the CC license.

~Man Overboard

This entry was posted in Entertainment, Technology and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

About the Author

Jack Gamble - Man Overboard
A former Commercial Fisherman turned Nuclear Engineer. His mouth is matched in size only by his ego. He has earned the surname Man Overboard through his nautical roots and propensity towards overreaction.

16 Comments

  1. Posted January 6, 2009 at 4:00 pm | Permalink

    I so agree with you on this stuff. I recently just put out a status thingy that said, “is not accepting any more group invites/apps, so don’t bother.” This came about because I was getting about 10 myfarm gifts a day on top of everything else — so if, God forbid, I didn’t log on for a day or two, I was getting buried in tons of crap.

    And yet, I still log on and banter with friends, cause you know, it is fun for that…

  2. Posted January 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm | Permalink

    We are all shackled down by the oppressor that is headnovel.

  3. Posted January 6, 2009 at 9:07 pm | Permalink

    I agree with you pretty well…Except for number 9. I honestly don’t get all the hype. I just don’t.

  4. Lauren
    Posted January 6, 2009 at 9:10 pm | Permalink
  5. Posted January 6, 2009 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    Well 8 out of 9 isn’t bad I suppose.

  6. keeks
    Posted January 6, 2009 at 9:14 pm | Permalink

    I’m sorry if this post doesn’t sound too clear. I just had my third virtual drink sent to me and I’m wasted.

  7. NO WAY TO FACEBOOK
    Posted January 6, 2009 at 9:17 pm | Permalink

    facebook is taking all the fun out of the internet i closed my account because my freakin mom joined and tried to add me. i mean come on. its out of hand AND its interface is boring.

  8. Posted January 6, 2009 at 9:28 pm | Permalink

    Hey Jack,

    Is number 5 hitting a little too close to home?

  9. keeks
    Posted January 6, 2009 at 10:15 pm | Permalink

    I think number 6 is about me.

  10. Posted January 6, 2009 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    Keeks, it doesn’t always have to be about you.

  11. Posted January 6, 2009 at 10:29 pm | Permalink

    No, Greg, in this case Keeks is right on. I really never liked him.

  12. Posted January 7, 2009 at 2:05 pm | Permalink

    That was some great stuff. #4 in particular.

  13. Posted January 8, 2009 at 6:26 am | Permalink

    Awesome list. I concur.

  14. Posted January 8, 2009 at 11:09 am | Permalink

    I just “ignore” any apps I’m not into (Throwing snowballs, getting arrested, kidnapping, etc) and respond to those I’m interested in (Lil Green Patch or Blue Cove). And while I don’t personally want to see pictures of women breastfeeding on Face Book, or anywhere else, I don’t see why bad taste should be banned.

  15. Posted January 10, 2009 at 12:34 am | Permalink

    Hey Jack, perhaps you could check out I Quit Facebook.

  16. keeks
    Posted January 10, 2009 at 11:21 am | Permalink

    Greg,
    That video is hilarious. I especially like the righting on the wall part.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

get Gravatared!

Want to see your mug next to your comments?
Sign up for your own Globally Recognized Avatar. It's easy, it's free, and we will show you how!