5 Reasons Vampires Make Better House Guests than Democrats

5. A Vampire can only enter your house if invited. Democrats on the other hand invite themselves into your house, your paycheck, your health care, and your retirement.

4. Although equally allergic to religious icons, a Vampire will flee from a crucifix while a liberal will take up a picket sign.

3. A Vampire will politely and directly suck the blood from your veins. A Democrat will slowly bleed you dry through higher taxes.

2. A Vampire will request his steak rare and bloody. A Democrat will debate you on the ecological consequence of raising cattle to the point where you give up and end up eating another lousy tofu burger.

1. A Vampire’s face will not show up in a photograph. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Rosie O’Donnell.

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About the Author

Jack Gamble - Man Overboard
A former Commercial Fisherman turned Nuclear Engineer. His mouth is matched in size only by his ego. He has earned the surname Man Overboard through his nautical roots and propensity towards overreaction.

7 Comments

  1. Posted October 13, 2008 at 11:27 pm | Permalink

    Funny stuff! Have you been watching True Blood on HBO?

  2. Posted October 13, 2008 at 11:46 pm | Permalink

    0. A Vampire’s body will not show up in a mirror. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for Rosie O’Donnell.

  3. Posted October 13, 2008 at 11:49 pm | Permalink

    6. A Vampire will be gone when you wake up in the morning.

  4. Posted October 14, 2008 at 10:41 am | Permalink

    7. When dealing with Vampires, at least you have a silver bullet.

  5. Posted October 14, 2008 at 12:33 pm | Permalink

    8. Vampires don’t get into lengthy debates to convert you to their world view. They just bite you.

  6. Posted October 14, 2008 at 1:32 pm | Permalink

    9. Hollywood actually does a Vampire justice.

  7. Posted October 14, 2008 at 5:59 pm | Permalink

    10 Vampires will eat your bleeding heart. Democrats are bleeding hearts.

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