Everyone (I hope) visits the dentist regularly for check-ups and cleanings. It is pretty much the same scenario every time. You go in, the hygienist sticks the saliva ejector into your mouth and goes to town scraping and spraying and asking you questions you are incapable of answering.
As she works your mouth fills uncomfortably with saliva, until she finally backs out and tells you to close your mouth around the saliva ejector (also known as Mr. Thirsty) for relief. Like magic all the liquid disappears from your mouth. Then she goes back in for more scraping and poking.
What is wrong with this picture?
Recently updated CDC guidelines recommend that patients should never be told to close their lips around the saliva ejector or (and this is even worse) be told to suck on it like a straw. If your hygienist ever tells you to do this, say, “NO!” and then tell her what I am about to tell you.
All of the ejectors are connected to the same waterline system. Closing your mouth around the saliva ejector creates an environment of low pressure inside your mouth that could lead to back wash. From someone else’s mouth in the next room. And that person might have cooties.
Remember this is a recent update, and your hygienist may have gone to school twenty years ago. But times change and Mr. Thirsty is not always your friend. Be polite but firm and exercise your rights as a patient to refuse any procedure. Although there are no documented cases of illness or disease transmission in this manner, it is always better to be safe than sorry when cooties are concerned.
13 Comments
I think I’m going to have nightmares.
Saliva ejectors, Mr. Thirsty, and Cooties oh my.
I like closing my mouth and feeling the saliva ejector suck my lips and nose closed. Now that it is regulated, it presents interesting lawsuit potential if someone were to…I don’t know…close their mouth and panick..haha
This isn’t making me want to go to my dentist appointment later this month at all…
I havn’t been so afraid of dental work since I saw this.
Oh man, I forgot all about that part of the movie!! Nicely done.
Seriously Jack, your recall abilities pre-1990 is as amazing as your post 1990 mental recall is full of woe.
I would totally go back in time to the 80’s where I know everything, but I can’t remember where I put the keys to my time machine
Dude, the keys were in the pocket of your pants but when you turned them inside out to blend they fell into the wrong hands. I heard he is on his way to kill Vader’s mom right now…
The CDC is a non regulatory agency. They make recommendations and set guidelines. They do not make laws. Just to clear up any confusion.
I finally made it to a long overdue teeth cleaning today at the dentist, and my hygienist did not ask me to close my mouth around the saliva ejector.
I was very disappointed too. I wanted to cry at NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO, and then direct her to babeled.com for proper schooling from one Claire D (no relation to the Beasties’ Mike D).
Claire, I forgot your advice when I went to the dentist and started sucking on Mr. Thirsty like I was Romulus sucking on the teet of the mother wolf.
It’s funny how things get lost in translation….Lupus, which means wolf in Latin, also meant prostitute or harlot. So, Romulus was probably brought up by a harlot and sucked her nipples just like all the good men did back then.
Lest we forget The Looper – A caddy, a jock, a looper.