Good morning and prepare yourself for a look into the mind of Babeler Greg Molyneux.  Greg and I met in college our freshman year as random lottery roommates - I guess that worked out since we are some of the few people I know who met that way and are still friends.  Here it goes…

Jason Morgan (JM): Let’s take care of the mundane: where did you go to college / what was your major / what do you do for living?

Greg Molyneux (GM): I was educated at The College of New Jersey (spoken aloud as though I were a football player hailing from The Ohio State University).  At TCNJ, as it is locally known, I earned a Bachelor’s of Science in Business Administration with a concentration in Information Systems.  It is the best school that no one has ever heard of, or so I’m told.

As far as work goes, I am an Information Technology consultant for a company to remain nameless where I help to design and implement web solutions on a global scale. But don’t get too excited, my job is not as exciting as it seems.

JM: What are some of your hobbies and why do you feel that you are drawn to them as leisure activities?

GM:  Hmm… hobbies… beer…

  • Reading - I was never much for it as a kid, but now as my youthful prime is waning, I just can’t seem to get enough.  As far as genres go I enjoy history books, biographies and autobiographies, texts relating to science (Physics especially). I also enjoy a good fantasy story when I need a real world escape.  The ultimate reward from reading comes from books that really blow your mind, Siddhartha and Ishmael outshine all others in this respect for me personally.
  • Photography - This is a brand new hobby for me, and I’m not very good at it but I still find it enjoyable.
  • Web & Graphic Design - I cannot get enough of this stuff even though my skill level is no where near where I would like it to be; which is to say I suck.  I guess I can’t really beat myself up too much though since I have only been doing it for about 2 years now.  I am passionate about doing it and I really want to get better.  In 10 years I want to possess some serious skills.
  • I don’t really know if you can count watching the Yankees as a hobby, but I will since it defines a big part of who I am.  Going back to watching games on WPIX as a little kid listening to The Scooter, Phil Rizzuto, broadcast games I fell in love with the Yanks.  Just hearing those great stories about DiMaggio and Mantle would get my imagination running for days.  I started watching in the late 1980’s and the Yanks were terrible back then, but I was an unconditional fan in the true Yankee tradition.  Fortunately, they greatly improved and the dynasty run at the close of the Millennium was nothing short of amazing as I was witnessing the modern incarnation of a bygone era.  I was reliving the pride of that Yankees that the Scooter first introduced to a wide-eyed kid watching intently from his bedroom.  I live and die with this team and I am proud to be a Yankee fan.
  • I’ll throw blogging into this mess since I have a blast doing it.  This whole Babeled venture gives me an opportunity to share a rewarding hobby with friends that I have known and loved for many years.  Each day I learn something new and I get a great deal of satisfaction from being part of such an outstanding group of people.  My hope is that others will someday benefit from it as much as I do.

JM: Tell me about a dream or aspiration you have in life.

GM: To earn the respect of others.

JM: Describe yourself classified ad-style.

GM: Single Male seeking Single Female who is assertive, attractive, and attentive (a penchant for long walks on the beach is a plus though hardly a deal breaker).  I admire compassionate women who are outgoing, social and spontaneous.  I am looking for a woman who craves both conversation and learning, who also loves to travel.  I am 26 years old, 6 feet tall, 190 pounds with a laser-rocket arm.  I enjoy reading, talking, and pretending I have a clue.  I am competitive, stubborn, and at times a perfectionist - some might say that I am never satisfied.  I am fiercely loyal and passionate by nature, and you could easily say I’m a hopeless romantic.  I am a good listener and wear my heart on my sleeve.

Clothing optional…

JM: Are you willing to trade a walk-on part in a war for a lead role in a cage?

GM: Ah, Pink Floyd, an outstanding band that is all but cemented into my all time top-5 favorite bands.

As far as classic lines go this one probes deeply into the conscious mind.  That is to say it is much more than a great lyric.  I would gladly forfeit my ignorance towards the ills of the world for an awareness to those very evils. However, as the line from the song teaches us, such acknowledgment to the true function of the world exacts a heavy price on personal freedom.  There is a cruel irony behind your personal enlightenment as the gravity of human nature collapses upon you - suffocating you.  The awakened are unceremoniously caged to the machine we stem from; rendering us powerless as instruments of change even though we posses the fundamentals to do so.  The liberation of our very ignorance becomes the icy prison of a cold, systemic reality.

Just listen again to the exchange of words that a wise Morpheus offers to an awakening Neo about a trip down the rabbit hole of true existential understanding.  That vividly explains precisely what the words of Wish You Were Here mean to say.

JM: What is your favorite movie to quote?

GM: This one’s easy…. First Place goes to the greatest movie ever made about Caddy’s, Caddyshack.

Don’t be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher Basha once wrote, ‘A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.’ He was a funny guy.

License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They’re like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote.

Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.

It’s easy to grin
When your ship comes in
And you’ve got the stock market beat.
But the man worthwhile,
Is the man who can smile,
When his shorts are too tight in the seat.

Second Place has to go Braveheart.

Do it, and let the English see ya do it!

I didn’t like him anyway.  He wasn’t right… in the head.

Lastly: Wayne’s World! Wayne’s World!  Party Time… Excellent.

We got $5,000!  We got $5,000!

JM: What fictional character do you identify with the most?

GM: Siddhartha.  He recognizes the absolute importance of learning from experience, and not just good experiences either.  He has no fear of making mistakes and makes no apologies for being human.  His ultimate reward is Total Consciousness.  “So I got that going for me, which is nice.”

JM: Do you have a personal slogan or saying - and if not, do you really like someone else’s?

GM: Hmm… I don’t think I have a particular slogan that I apply to myself - at least nothing specific comes.  Although I am a very big fan of Jason Giambi’s personal mission statement for a life of awesomeness, “Play like an all star, party like a rockstar, and bang like a porn star.”

But that aside, I just try to always be humble, if that counts as a saying.

JM: Where is the farthest away from home you have ever gone?

GM: Meerbusch, Germany (a suburb of Düsseldorf).  I have been there 3 times over the past 4 years to visit a very dear friend of mine and her family.  I cannot begin to say enough good things about Deutschland.  The people are great, the food is outstanding, and the weather totally sucks!  BUT, they do have beer.  Unbelievable beer, gardens of beer, vending machines with beer!  I have been fortunate to spend about 6 total weeks with a loving family that has life figured out better than any I have yet encountered.  I admire them greatly and they remind me that there is much to hold hope for in this world.

JM: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you settle?

GM: Definitely on a hilltop with a bird’s eye view of my flock - Thomas Jefferson did it proper with Monticello that’s for sure.  But I’d be happy somewhere in Europe (see number 9), a sweet homestead in the States would rock (mass acreage), or a cool little place on a tropical island, “right near the beach, boy.”  I would really like to be able to farm and have a house that was high-tech yet old-school while completely eco-friendly.  Of course it would have to sustain itself 100% off the grid.  Harem’s are fine too…

JM: Last, but most certainly not least, please explain the legendary Freedom Cloud.

GM: Historically speaking, Waterloo is to blame.  Divine retribution has manifested itself through me as a direct result of France’s dismal post-Napoleonic military record.  Since that watershed moment - as the pompous shouts of oui grew louder, and the hairy pits of Parisian women grew thicker; the dismal luck shackled to the Molyneux name (Married with Children fans think of the Bundy curse) has branded me with a scarlet letter.  Who was it that said X never marks the spot?

In current times, the Freedom Cloud moniker owes its esoteric origins to Dan Elkins, the U.S. Congress (remember ‘The Great Freedom Fries Incident’?), a surname of mistaken French connection, and my legendary bad luck.  This perfect storm of woe and misfortune has graciously given me the only nickname I have ever known - Freedom.

Well, there it is, folks.  I hope you enjoyed this installment of the Babeled interview series.