A Sit Down with Rine and the Family Stone

Gregory Rineberg, a puer of many nicknames, who was at the receiving end of a pyramid scheme, took the time to answer some burning questions.

Colt Forty Fineberg, the world wants to know…

Greg Molyneux (GM) asks: From where do you hail?

Gregory Rineberg (GR): I hail from Central Jersey. I grew up in Highland Park and Marlboro. I went to college in Piscataway, I lived in Matawan for a short stint, and now I live down here in Tuckerton.

GM: What was going through your head as you tripped over first base in Little League after going hitless for the entire season?

GR: I was practically in tears and very, very embarrassed. After making contact with the ball I hustled down the line so hard that when I reached first base, my foot got snagged up and I did a half-assed flip over first. The entire stadium was laughing at me and I ran back to the dugout completely ashamed.

GM: Where did you go to College and what was your major?

GR: Rutgers University and Classics.

GM: How would you describe your college experience as a whole?

GR: Hmm… very hazy . . . . Can you please repeat the question?

GM: How do you currently serve the real world as a productive member of society?

GR: I recycle, don’t abuse energy, drive a fuel efficient car and donate money out of every paycheck to a charity for the Home Depot. I do the small things like hold doors for old and pregnant women as well as help strangers in need.

GM: Boston Red Sox or Dallas Cowboys?

GR: A douche and a turd sandwich come to mind, but I’ll have to say Boston Red Sox.

GM: Who is the culprit that first introduced you to Fantasy Sports?

GR: My old college roommate Gary – he still plays like 5 different leagues in each sport every year.

GM: Your biggest role model that you have never met?

GR: Hands down it’s got to be Abraham Lincoln.

GM: Is it true that you once despised the idea of blogging?

GR: Yes it’s true. I thought that it was impure media and nonsense.

GM: If you could be in a foxhole with anyone, who would it be?

GR: Kate Beckinsale.

GM: Waterboarding or solitary confinement?

GR: Waterboarding.

GM: Roman Republic or Roman Empire?

GR: Roman Republic.

GM: What was your best vacation and why?

GR: Israel. Climbing Masada and swimming in the Dead Sea were great life experiences. Being a Classics major, I really enjoyed the history that surrounded the area.

GM: What does Babeled mean to you?

GR: It means to talk about nothing in particular and about something that has no bearing on anything of importance, but perhaps somebody will enjoy reading it.

GM: What are your 5 favorite websites?

GR:

GM: Can you tell us your favorite nickname and why you have so many?

GR: That’s a tough one. I guess it would have to be The Child. I have so many because I probably make an ass out of myself often and people feel comfortable naming me.

GM: And for the record, when did Gorillas first invent bows and arrows?

GR: Ok…ok I get my Chops busted all the time about this one (Chops is another nickname of mine). About 4 or 5 years ago after watching something on a learning channel, I was having a discussion with my friends about evolution and adaptations. And I made the bonehead statement saying that gorillas invented bows and arrows 25, 000 years ago in order to hunt. I based this on the fact that monkeys and chimpanzees fight with sticks, in a sword fighting way, and they throw rocks.

There you have it folks, (insert response type here) from the Czar of Common Sense himself, Gregory Rineberg.