When I was but a young lad at the tender age of 7, I met Jeff Ruemeli (pronounced rum-lee) for the first time.  To this day he remains a good friend and now, a fellow Babeler.  Although he remains the Hailey’s Comet of blogging, Jeff’s insight and unorthodox outlook on life adds a refreshing dose of unpredictability to the Babeled staff.

Now, join me as we dive headfirst into the deep end of eccentricity.  With a dozen lifetimes one might scratch the surface of summarizing his personality.  I will attempt the same with only a few moments of your time.

Without further ado - I give you Jeff Ruemeli

<Applause>

JG: What is Ruemelification?  How does one learn to Ruemelify?

JR: Ruemelification is an act of self-liberation.  It occurs when you excel or dominate ANY activity.  It cannot be learned, only obtained.  Most learn only after being Ruemelified.

JG: Could you explain the origins of the phrase “Listen to Jeff Ruemeli”

JR: I once owned a very popular shirt that exclaimed, “Listen to Bob Marley”.  It was all black with white print so its message was direct.  Upon others reading said shirt they understood my insight and told others to “Listen to Jeff Ruemeli.”  Oh, and my friend, Toph, once made a “Listen to Jeff Ruemeli” shirt, and would wear it to the bar whenever I would wear my Marley shirt.

JG: The about page lists your super power as “invisibility.”   Are your blog posts also invisible?

JR: Indeed.

JG: I understand you’re a man of many hobbies - pick your favorite and elaborate on why it suits you.

JR: A favorite?  Whoa, tough call.  Probably playing music, because in my heart of hearts it’s what I love to do.  But a Ruemeli’s gotta eat so I gotta work a day job.

JG: Are there any instruments that you don’t play?

JR: I don’t play instruments I can’t get my hands on.  Those elusive bitches!

JG: If I had to pick the lyrics of one song to describe Jeff Ruemeli, what would that song be?

JR: “The Good Life” by Weezer.

JG: If I were to produce a remix of that song, what rapper would be most suited to perform it and what new lyrics would he add?

JR: Mr. Kanye West, and he would add whatever he wants because that’s what he does (plus I like rappin’ along with him).

JG: I’m a psychic looking ahead five years - what does the Ruemelifier look like?

JR: Awesome as usual.

JG: If you were given the opportunity to use your talent to create one glass object to be displayed in the Oval Office on the next Presidents desk, what would that object be?

JR: Ok, this one is going to be tough to describe.  You know those cards that are textured and when you tilt them side to side the image moves?  Well, I wanna do that but on a sphere so when you walked around it, it would change from the Earth to Mars and back again.  I would do this to show my excitement that the U.S. wants humans to become a space fairing species.

JG: You’ve just won you party’s nomination for president - who will be your running mate?

JR: Jack Gamble, and the rest of the Babeled crew would be in my cabinet.

JG: If you could write an Episode of South Park - what would it be about?

JR: I dunno, they’ve done almost everything.  I guess the subject would be the boys learning instruments and starting a rock band.  Not a boy group, not a Christian band/ anti-Napster band, not a guitar-hero group.

JG: If your invention saved the world, what would it be?

JR: The never-ending throat lozenge.

JG: If www.babeled.com were to have its own reoccurring comic strip, when might the masses expect the debut?<spoiler>

JR: You must learn patience my young Padawan…

JG: Other than Jar Jar’s mom, if you could go back in time and kill the mother of one Star Wars character before she could Sarah Conner her way to another lousy Prequel character, whom would you kill?

JR: Anakin’s mom. He was a little bitch huh?….ugh….Lack of faith…ugh……. throat closing…ugh…….. Disturbing….

JG: What is your favorite HBO series?

JR: Oh you bastard!  You had to go there!  I’m still going to group therapy over this one.  I still can’t believe they canceled Carnevàle!

JG: Who was your favorite character from that series and why?

JR: I…can’t…don’t…losing…calm…

JG: If your biography were made into a motion picture, who would surely win an Oscar for his portrayal of Jeff Ruemeli?

JR: Johnny Depp.  Oh the girls love them some Depp.

JG: Are there enough figs in the fruit salad?

JR: Oh, definitely not. But good bread, this.

<Studio sound-effects simulation of thunder crashing>  Oh, and that Sound means we’re just about out of time.  So let’s get ready for the Lightning Round.  Point values are tripled and if you hear this sound <eh eh> it means your answer is politically correct and will not be accepted.

JG: Coke or Pepsi?

JR: Soda’s bad, Mkay.

JG: Paris or Britney?

JR: Those two are trash.

JG: South Park or Family Guy?

JR: As if this was a question. South Park.

JG: Jedi or Sith?

JR: Jedi, cooler Lightsaber colors plus picking out crystals sounds like fun.

JG: Regular or Decaf?

JR: Regular, none of that toned down crap!

JG: Coheed or Cambria?

JR: Cambria, she has cooler powers

JG: Stay with the band or go solo?

JR: Stay with the band!

<ding>

So there you have it, folks; A brief glance into the paradox of a man that is Jeff Ruemeli.  Half man, half machine, all funk.  There can be only one Ruemelifier, and he can be found only in South Jersey, and…very rarely…very sporadically - on Babeled.

~Man Overboard