Long gone are the days of the vision quest.

No more do we mark the transitions of life by sending our loved ones unprepared into the wilderness. No more do we get the opportunity to take on a wolf, mano a mano. I’d be down. I’d put that wolf in a headlock till it called me daddy.

But even if I have the opportunity to go on a vision quest, it sadly would be of my own accord. No more are these awesome experiences built in to the fabric of our society. What then is an American left to do when they need to mark a significant moment in their life?

GET F*CKED UP!!!

That’s just the way it is around these parts. When we want to mark stages of our life we drink alcohol. Managing to make it to the bathroom without puking in public is the new quest. And the visions will come if you keep drinking for enough years - its called Delirium Tremens.

Image courtesy of Youthink.