![[Poor presentation of abnormally good results]](http://www.babeled.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/blah.jpg "[Poor presentation of abnormally good results]")
A lot of people [thing to be improved]. In fact, this is fairly common. [cost number 1] is the common argument against [improvement], and most people value their [cost number 2] too much to consider anything but [thing to be improved].
However, there are a growing number of people interested in [improvement], so I have written a step-by-step guide, as I myself have been [verb form of improvement] for many years. I find it [positive experience 1], [positive experience 2], and it reduces my [noun].
[Quote by somebody you've never heard of in favor of the idea.]
[Optional: bulleted list]
~ [Some magazine you'd never read] 2005
It is true that a lot of people are worried about [cost number 1] when considering [improvement], but it turns out this is actually [marginalizing adjective] if you [ancillary skill to be developed]. Not only that, but with a little extra work, [cost number 2] can be [weasel words understating the difficulty of minimizing cost 2].
Everything You Need
First, it is useful to know that you have everything you need at hand.
Things you will need
- [Obvious object]. This goes without saying.
- [Non-obvious quantity] [Obvious object]. I experimented for a long time, and this is the [validation of non-obvious amount].
- [Weird object]. A lot of people will [negative adjective] at the idea, but it turns out that [insightful but flawed reason for including weird object].
- [Positive adjective] [Common object]. I can not understate ‘[Positive adjective] enough! Many people ignore this, but rest assured that this will affect the outcome. You may feel like you are avoiding [cost 2] if you do this step, but this will affect the quality of [improvement], rendering this whole guide worthless.
- [Unrelated object. Example: A cup of coffee]
The Process
As with all things, [noun] is the most important part of this process. Failure to [utilize noun] correctly will obviously lead to [mildly disastrous consequence]. You will then need to [undesirable action], so let’s try to avoid that and [utilize noun] properly! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
The Steps
- [Easy-to-overlook preparation step]. DO NOT FORGET THIS! If you do not, [improvement with proper definite or indefinite article] will [undesirable outcome].
- [Obvious step].
- [Obvious step]. However, when I do it, [non-obvious, but unimportant, twist].
- [Obvious step]. This is a step that most people breeze over, but you must [obsessive behavior], otherwise [mildly negative adjective] [noun] will happen.
- [Non-obvious step]. This is where I generally deviate from the common practice. I find that [subjective observation].
- [Finishing touches]
- [Verb] [Unrelated object]. You’re done!
As you can see, this is not a very difficult process, and with a little practice, you can easily perfect it. Your first attempt may or may not [positive verb] on the first try, but with a little practice, [another positive verb].
Minimizing [cost 2]
Obviously, [cost 2] still could be a deterrant. However, developing [ancillary skill] requires only a little bit of [cost 3], but the results are well-worth it.
There you have it! I hope this guide was able to help somebody.
Note: Author is [impressive title] at [company you've never heard of]. [Pronoun] also enjoys [activity you don't care about] and [activity that almost killed you as a kid] with his [improbably glowing description of family].
Image used in this post: blah.jpg. Author: Jake Voytko. Released under CC Attribution license.
7 Comments
WTF?
It’s a madlib blog post.
Interesting approach. made for one weird read though.
Are there any Paraguyans here? Well of course their requests for subsidies was not paraguayan in and of it is as it were the United States government would never have if the president, our president, had not and as far as I know that’s the way it will always be. Is that clear?
~ Emmett Fitz-Hume, Spies Like Us (1985)
Ok, here goes…
A lot of people [have a dirty bowel]. In fact, this is fairly common. [Spending millions] is the common argument against [a colon clense], and most people value their [millions] too much to consider anything but [fixing their dirty bowels].
However, there are a growing number of people interested in [a colon clense], so I have written a step-by-step guide, as I myself have been [cleansing colons] for many years. I find it [enlightening], [empowering], and it reduces my [crap].
["A cleaner bowel is a gentler bowel" ~Publius Ovidius Naso]
[clean bowel gets you:
*noticed
*employment
*cool blog
*no chicks]
~ [Popular Commodes] 2005
It is true that a lot of people are worried about [spending millions] when considering [a colon cleanse], but it turns out this is actually [somewhat worthwhile] if you [squeeze a little bit]. Not only that, but with a little extra work, [millions] can be [squandered minimizing the millions in the bank you are forced to spend].
Everything You Need
First, it is useful to know that you have everything you need at hand.
Things you will need:
1. [Plunger]. This goes without saying.
2. [10,000] [plungers]. I experimented for a long time, and this is the [reason you need 10,000].
3. [Box Fan]. A lot of people will [scoff] at the idea, but it turns out that [box fan blows the smell into your girlfriends bedroom (think enhanced dutch oven)].
4. [Sparkling] [turkey baster]. I can not understate ‘[sparkling] enough! Many people ignore this, but rest assured that this will affect the outcome. You may feel like you are avoiding [spending millions] if you do this step, but this will affect the quality of [the colon clense], rendering this whole guide worthless.
5. [Lawn Jockey]
The Process
As with all things, [a pyramid] is the most important part of this process. Failure to [place the pyramid] correctly will obviously lead to [an aborted fetus]. You will then need to [go back to work], so let’s try to avoid that and [place the pyramid] properly! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
The Steps
1. [Call your therapist]. DO NOT FORGET THIS! If you do not, [a colon cleanse without your overpaid shrink] will [lead to further depression].
2. [Marinate in your own filth].
3. [Watch gas prices rise]. However, when I do it, [I gouge my eyes out with a spoon].
4. [Read Babeled]. This is a step that most people breeze over, but you must [read carefully], otherwise [itchy] [feet] will happen.
5. [Say meow 10 times]. This is where I generally deviate from the common practice. I find that [meowing is far superior to barking like a dog].
6. [Turn off the lights]
7. [Fart] [bike tire]. You’re done!
As you can see, this is not a very difficult process, and with a little practice, you can easily perfect it. Your first attempt may or may not [rock] on the first try, but with a little practice, [jonesing].
Minimizing [spending millions]
Obviously, [spending millions] still could be a deterrant. However, developing [locomotion] requires only a little bit of [euros], but the results are well-worth it.
There you have it! I hope this guide was able to help somebody.
Note: Author is [an orthopedic bone surgeon] at [CERN]. [He] also enjoys [eating tea and crumpets] and [stump jumping] with his [loving and rich family].
OK, I was with you all the way until the words “A lot of people” and then I kinda got lost.
Do they not have madlibs across the pond?
They may well do. But on the night shift, me and my brain dont do too much talking to each other, so it is easy to find that the plot has completely deserted me.
The little mad libs pamphlets are what got me through the drudgery of elementary school.