I would like to take a moment to dissect a unique and glorious anomaly that defines human existence.  I am talking about particular artifacts that we as men actively pursue in order to snare unsuspecting females into our clutch.  I would like to let you in on the secret that all of us men have been intuitively aware of since the birth of mankind. I’m talking about UDD’s (Unfair Dating Devices).  While you may have never heard this term phrased as such, you sure as hell know what I’m talking about.  Particular items of such power and awe, that their mere possession ensures the she’ll pretty much have to moment.  These are the weapons of mass distraction that we seek in a vain attempt to compensate for our numerous deficiencies and insecurities that we struggle with daily.

Now our mission is as simple as it is critical: we the unfortunate souls who frequent this blog on the regular, must compile a complete and agreed upon list.  An accurate representation of the ideal tools of seduction that are truly worthy of the label, UDD.  It is vital for the benefit of posterity that we canonize an ironclad list that will serve future generations well.  My fellow babelers, our progeny depends on it.

I will start things off with an outlandish example, but an example that for the most part is beyond reproach:

A Vineyard in France: Here you have 4 powerful ingredients going for you.

  1. Land, which leads to the assumption of wealth
  2. A dream vacation spot to your personal property in Europe (France to boot - with Paris just around the corner)
  3. The enormously important aura of being cultured, coupled with the assumption lodged in your special lady’s mind that she will be vacationing/frolicking at your vineyard before long.
  4. The near guarantee that she has never met another man with such an ace up his sleeve

Now, I implore everyone else to submit their ideas within the comments below.  Explanations would be nice, but there are certain examples that are beyond question such that an explanation need not apply.  Over time, we will weed out the lesser submissions in order to finalize the master list of UDD’s, such that its mythos will live on forever.

I would be remiss not to mention that female insight into this great quest would be immensely appreciated - it will only help us feeble minded men in our mission(s).

Such a tremendous burden has never been levied upon the shoulders of mankind, I only hope we are up to the task…