S’mores are the stuff of childhood legend. No campfire outing would be complete without the gooey combination of toasted marshmallow, chocolate and graham crackers. It’s so delicious you’ll always wonder when you can have s’more.
I recently found myself the proud owner of a collection of the ingredients to create s’mores; I also found myself miles from the forest or anything that even remotely resembled a campfire. I had been cheated of my campfire s’mores by a band of savage mice (too much to go into detail on here). Adding insult to injury, I now had an entire box of Honeymaid Grahams, 6 bars of Hershey’s chocolate and a gigantic bag of Jet-Puffed marshmallows taking up space in my kitchen, mocking me.
Let the experiments begin. In order to save anyone else from tragedy and tribulation, I have tested and laid out the pros and cons of Indoor S’mores (also fondly known as Sad Excuse S’mores).
The first and arguably the most tragic of the Sad Excuse S’mores is the Cold S’more. Just slap all the ingredients together with no prep work. Un-toasted marshmallow, un-melted chocolate, un-tasty s’more. Don’t do it. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
Second we have the Candle Flame S’more. Just get out a candle and some chopsticks and begin toasting away. Scented candles lead to scented marshmallows. Trust me, this is a bad thing. Furthermore, the candle tended to scorch rather than toast the marshmallow. It also never really got hot enough to melt the marshmallow unless you caught it on fire, which is fun but quite dangerous. No one wants to explain to the firemen how a flaming marshmallow got launched into the drapes. It was somewhat novel to toast a marshmallow on a chopstick, but it left a lot of residue on the stick. This will not mix well with sushi later. Ultimately, the Candle Flame S’more just didn’t work. The chocolate never really melted, the marshmallow never really toasted, and it had a strange hint of ocean breeze to it.
Next we have the Micro-S’more. This s’more is created in your microwave. I recommend premelting the chocolate slightly before you microwave the marshmallow. When you microwave a marshmallow it puffs up until it explodes, which takes about 15 seconds. That is not enough time for the chocolate to get melty. Microwave the bottom graham with the chocolate on it for 10 – 15 seconds then add your marshmallow. Don’t use more than one; you will see why in a minute. Place the marshmallow on top of the chocolate graham , start your microwave and (this part is important) watch the mallow the entire time!!! Once it starts to puff up and is about double in size, stop the microwave. Don’t worry it shrinks right back down, and you can throw on that top graham and munch away. The Micro-S’more is not bad, but it is not good either. It is somehow melty without being warm, can be quite messy, and there are a lot of things that can go wrong. Plus it’s probably not good to stand in front of the microwave staring at its rapidly expanding contents.
Last, I approached my electric stove. Electro-S’more? Not likely. My electric range is nasty. It was nasty when i got to this apartment and will be nasty when I leave. Mystery gunk is not an ingredient in s’mores, so I decided to forget trying the stove. I have a suspicion that the gas range is probably the best way to prepare an Indoor S’more, but I may never know.
Nothing really comes close to the flavor and flair of an Outdoor S’more, although the ones we made on the balcony over the propane camping stove were not bad. You still don’t get the fun of hunting down the perfect stick and preparing it for mallow contact. There’s none of the bonding and magic that goes on around the campfire. It is also impossible to duplicate the campfire flavors that have made the s’more such a classic. I recommend eating your s’mores in the wild and throwing left over marshmallows at your annoying neighbors and passing motorists. Anyone wearing spandex is fair game too.
12 Comments
Time to go play with fire. It has been eons since I have indulged upon a s’more. This fine piece has ignited a craving.
Accept no substitutes! So…when are we having a campfire?
Mmmmm…I’m uber-curious about trying the Ocean Breeze S’more.
Anyone for beach camping?
Ocean breeze was the scent of the candle, dude. And it was not awesome.
I wonder if there is such a thing as a s’more scented candle?
I bet if you roasted a slab of tofu above a chocolate, then marshmallow, and finally graham-cracker scented candle it’d taste like a s’more……
You know everyone tries this at least once. Every time some horrible mess gets made and there seems to be some explaining to do. When the explaining is done all can hear in your head is Red Foreman saying “Dumba**!”
If you really want to have some fun dip the marshmallow in Everclear throw it in a ot and light the sucker up. You can actually do this with several marshmallows and the booze all burns up leaving something you never want to eat. But it is fun.
Great Jim, first it was the craving for s’mores, now I need to watch Sanford & Sons. Something tells me that will hardly be possible in Germany.
I do what I can. Red Foremen was the dad in That 70’s Show.
One thing you may want to get a bottle of if you can find it is Grapa. It’s Italian moonshine and will end you in ways you can not even imagine.
I think I need to step away from the booze for awhile (or at least 24 hours). Otherwise there is a ditch in my future.
Always a hit camping is Smores Nachos!
You take all of the usual ingrediants and throw together in a piece of aluminum foil. Arrange randomly like you would nachos. Wrap up the foil and place by the fire. Check on it after a few minutes to make sure everything is melted and just pick away. I am fairly confident that this would work in the oven at home.
That’s a really good idea. I’ll b sure to check out S’mores Nachos.