I Highly Recommend Canada

I took a trip to Sherbrooke in Quebec (It’s too late to deal with accents. I know they’re there) in order to compete in the CS Games, a collegiate programming competition. We followed it up with a vacation to Montreal (same deal with accents). I’ve never taken a trip out of the country before, and I’ve decided that you should suffer through some observations.

News With a Different Bias is Very Informative

Any decent pundit is concerned for the well-being of his or her country. Canada is no different. The writers for the few papers I’ve picked up are pretty good, but there is a disproportionate focus on one particular issue: NAFTA. They’ve identified it as the single issue that affects Canada the most, and they’ve decided that the future of Canada lies with keeping NAFTA going. None of the pundits forgave Obama for his tough anti-NAFTA rhetoric. None of the written letters defended Obama. They understand that their “export economy” is what is keeping their country strong against the US Dollar, and they understand that a trade surplus is good for their economy (something our country could take a lesson from!).

Apart from that issue, it seemed like their newspapers were similar to a lot of US newspapers, but had some subtle differences. I think that if any of the authors were to rate Bush as pros and cons, they would make the following lists:

Pro:

• NAFTA
• The surge

Cons:

• Everything else, the rest of the war included.

The main difference: even though the writers were just as opinionated as the rest of humanity, they also did not hesitate to include a fair representation of both sides of the story, which is something that I sometimes have trouble doing. Every story about an unpopular decision such as Canadian troop deployment includes detailed lists of all of the pros and cons from each side, which was refreshing.

Fun Aside
One paper ran an article on seal clubbing that was so graphic that it looped around the shocking continuum and became funny again. Apparently the Canadian government approved new humane rules saying that you had to make sure that a seal was dead before you skinned it. How did they do this? “Pulping the skull”. Wow.

Ordering Food in Another Language is Awesome

In Montreal, everything is written in French, but spoken in English. In Sherbrooke, everything is written and spoken in French. I do feel a little like a jerk for not learning more French phrases than the standard ones (I would have been much better in Germany), but ordering food in French is pretty cool, especially when the waitress doesn’t get frustrated and switches to English (which also happened). “Je voudrais un [menu item], s’il vous plait, avec pommes frites!” I’m never going to take my language for granted again. I recommend that everyone has to go through a few days where they need to speak a different language to survive… it’s very humbling.

Almost all of Quebec Used to Work in the Same Department Store in Chicago

I was competing in the CS games, and we were taking a shuttle back to the hotel after a long day of coding. The people at the back of the bus started singing a drinking song that had the following form:

All: “I used to work in Chicago, in the old department store. I used to work in Chicago, but I don’t work there anymore.”
Call: “A lady came into the store and she asked for a (normal object).”
Response: “A file allocation table from the store??”
Call: “A (object) she wanted, my (disgusting twist on object) she got!”
All: “Ohhhhhhhhh I don’t work there anymore…”

This seems horribly sexist in America, but students from all of the Quebec schools knew the song by heart, and had a few of their own rounds that they came up with. Broader point: all of the Canadians are very united. The Quebec natives all knew the same songs, even though they lived hours apart from each other. I can’t even name a single local song that any native of Doylestown can sing, and I live there.

Curling is Serious Business

You should have read a Canadian report on curling. Some of the language that they used to describe curling would make Chuck Norris sound like a huge pansy in comparison. Focus, intense athleticism, dissention in the ranks were all fair game. At least the article was next to an article about how awesome the Devils are.

I’m Not Sure You Can Be Sued in Canada, or if You Can, Nobody Cares

At one point, I was called on at one point to participate in a sack race (what does this have to do with programming? I don’t know!). We participated in an underground tunnel. Made of concrete. Uphill. The sacks had absolutely no traction on the cement, and a lot of people face-planted. After we got to the top, we turned around and sprinted to the bottom. Needless to say, it was one of the most fun I’ve had in a long time.

The streets of Montreal are horribly snowy, and all of the sidewalks are very slippery. A few of us have fallen on our asses, and I’ve seen a bunch of other people slip. However, almost none of the businesses here have tried to clear the sidewalks very well, and the tractors from the city left about a 1 inch coating of snow. Why? Because it’s going to snow another 8 inches next week, and they’re doing a good enough job. Walk at your own risk. I like the attitude.