1. Star Fleet Officers are not known for pulling people’s arms out of their sockets when they lose.
2. John Williams can tell the story with just the music. Alexander Courage could not find honest work if he had a dancing monkey and a blind kid in front of him.
3. This: 
4. Legitimate characters perish in Star Wars as opposed to Ensign John A. Nonomous and Lt. Commander Jen Eriq being introduced and killed off in the same scene and I just never saw it coming.
5. The special effects in Star Trek look like an 8th graders video yearbook project.
6. A Phaser looks like my TV remote and is no match for a good blaster at your side.
7. I will have no part in a future completely devoid of puppets or midgets.
8. Khan is not Kirk’s father.
9. A pirate, a bounty hunter, and a wizard compared to a doctor who isn’t a -blank-, a nondescript Russian, and a Scotsman who can’t hold it together.
10. Even Mark Hamill did not stoop so low as a Priceline.com commercial to pay the bills when the career took a dive.
Now in case you were wondering what would happen if the two ever met:
~Man Overboard
Image Used in this Post
Slave Leia Bikini image courtesy of Flickr user scragz published under the CC license.
I just had my first interview today (these guys are in Las Vegas now) and was so...
41 Comments
Nicely done. I do think it is unfair to compare the special effects because Star Wars was created ten years later.
I just re-watched Episode IV: A New Hope this weekend and was amazed at how ludicrous the scenes involving the storm troopers were – I mean come on, the princess was standing in the middle of a hallway not moving and didn’t get shot by the group of 8 storm troopers standing 30 feet away wielding these allegedly bad-ass blasters? Lucas made the storm troopers seem way too slow, stupid and pathetically incompetent in the original three movies.
Statisticaly, Princess Leia was the best marksman in the entire saga. More so than Luke, Han, or any highly trained Storm Troopers.
Check out the parody of this statistic in Space Balls when Princess Vespa gets shot in the hair.
Did I mention that Space Balls is one of my all time favorite movies?
“Funny, she doesn’t look Druish…” my man Barf the Mawg.
… 1,2,3,4
11. Hyperdrive > Warp Speed (even when it’s not working)
Only Lonestar has the Balls to jam Lord Helmet’s radar with raspberry.
We love new visitors! Thanks for coming, hope you enjoyed being Babeled.
Star Trek on TV is definitely lame. I’ve actually enjoyed some of the more recent Star Trek films, especially First Contact- that one had a cool time travel twist.
In regards to Star Wars, I personally think Episodes I, II, and III were rushed into theaters and were not given nearly enough attention to casting and character development. You know a movie is bad when the only thing that saves it is its famous storyline.
How about this, the Star Trek Trailer.
It should be an interesting take on Star Trek considering its produced by the guy who produces LOST, and that new Cloverfield film.
I have never seen lost, and I have no idea what to expect from Cloverfield. I saw the trailer on TV and thought it was Godzilla.
Lost is a terrible show with an inconsistent storyline. It’s like the writers were making a patchwork quilt rather than a symphony.
Something to think about while we debate.
Even if LOST is a patchwork with its plot and character development, its filmed like a major motion picture, makes for a generally entertaining hour of television, and is better than most of the other crap the major networks have to offer from 8-11 PM. You’ve got to admit that at least.
And I’m psyched that it’ll be one of the few shows unaffected by the writers strike this spring.
I cannot admit that since I have not watched a single minute of Network Television in 10 plus years.
Seriously. These are the ten reasons you are going to go with. As a fan of both i can say with out a doubt neither is better and is all about your preference. If you prefer a lack of continuity, then Star Wars is for you. If you prefer a lot of whining, then Star Wars is for you. If you prefer to mix the an element of fantasy with your science fiction, then Star Wars is for you. If you like to argue about whether or not destroying the second Death Star was moral, then Star Wars is for you. If you prefer 10 movies and 4 series, then Star Trek is for you. If you prefer something resembling continuity, then Star Trek is for you. If green skin does not bother you, then Star Trek is for you. If you prefer learning to cuss some one out in Klingon, then Star Trek is for you. If you like the opposite sex but have found trouble getting a date, then you have spent way too much time pondering this. Have a nice day.
Hey we all know about the thousands of blue collar workers who died on the second Death Star, I saw Mallrats too.
Great ending to your comment by the way.
nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
it was clerks!
not mallrats!
Mallrats? Try Clerks.
oh and thanks
Tommy Boy-Black Sheep, Clerks-Mallrats – I get it
You have 2 movies with Chris Farley listed and 2 movies done by Kevin Smith. The reference I made in my original post was from the movie Clerks not Mallrats was what I was pointing out. I somehow get the feeling you are trying to imply that Clerks is to Mall rats as tommy Boy is to Black Sheep which would be to say that it is the same basic movie with the same actors playing the same type of characters. There you would be in error. I realize I am that kind of geek and I am good with it. Though it does make one wonder if you have actually watched Clerks and Mallrats or have only heard them discussed. No I really do not have anything better to do with my time and realize how sad and pathetic that is.
It’s ok, your efforts are to be commended.
Don’t worry I’ve seen them- and yes they are the same movies with the same over-worded dialogue with subtley different characters only now in color and set in a larger marketplace. Just because you utilized a thesauras to generate the language doesn’t mean it is acceptable to spoon-feed one’s audience a cookie-cutter plot that wouldn’t challenge a writer from The WB.
More to my previous statements- Star Trek is a subpar sci-fi methadone for Star Wars addicts patiently awaiting something worthwhile to come out of Skywalker Ranch.
I am still having a hard time comprehending the idea that Mallrats and Clerks are basically the same movie. Seriously I am watching them back to back to try and understand what you’re saying but I just don’t see it. I would agree with your methadone reference to a certain degree, however I would say That DS-9 pulled away form the other series and actually had better writing and character development. Geaorge makes great special effects and great concepts for movies, it is in the filling in of all the blanks that he seems to fall short. This after all is the man that purposely created Jar Jar Binks, made Anakin a virgin birth did not think far enough ahead in his story telling that he had a brother get kissed by his sister and he liked it. I love Star Wars with all of its flaws and I love Star Trek the same. Really they have both created separate mythologies that will outlive all of us and will forever be the center of debate for all of us uber geeks til the end of time. However Chris Farley and Kevin Smith are worlds apart and should stay that way. I have not had this much fun on a Sunday without football in years. Thank you for supplying me with this amusing little discussion. Have fun
I’ll give you DS9 was awesome (in Lieu of a decent episode of SW). Shoot first, negotiate later – thank you Ben Cisco.
Good old fashion cowboy diplomacy.
How does one say “Yippie-Kaye Mother #$&*&%” in Klingon
I wish I knew. Damn funny.
I know too little about Star Wars and Star Trek to accurately compete with this banter. This would be obvious to anyone who played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with me one lonely girl free night my freshman year of college. However I do want to chime in on the Chris Farley Kevin Smith discussion. The big difference between the two is Farley is a star that burned out while Kevin Smith is one who needs to mercifully fade away.
Thou Shall Not Take Thy Writer/Director/Silent Bob Name In Vain. Say anything you want about anybody but leave the fat guy in the trench coat alone.
Oh and by the way It was a discussion as to whether or not Clerks and Mallrats are interchangeable movies with different actors. I was right that they are 2 completely different movies and Jack was wrong that they are the same movie with different actors.
In relation to Kevin Smith and his choice of actors, I thought that this link was very interesting and worth checking out!
http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/news/officially-cool-the-kevin-smith-casting-chart.php
Jim
After rereading my post I realized I was way off topic. My apologies. However I stand by my statement that Kevin Smith needs to go away. I really want to like him. His first two movies were great but since then I have not been impressed.
Since this has turned into the Kevin Smith Revisited hour, I’ll put my 2 cents in.
Kevin Smiths best movie was Dogma. I couldnt sit through Clerks, probably due to the black and white aspect. And Mallrats, I just never got into like all of my friends. I mean it was good, but I didn’t see what all the hype was about.
You know I never did come back to see how this ended.
Kevein Smith has made some damn good movies. Clerks
Chasing Amy
Dogma
Clerks 2
Mallrats was entertaining and so was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
Hell even Jersey Girl was a good flick. Kevin Smith needs to stay and needs to go on and make many more movies.
To all those that oppose The Kevin, thou shall be treated to gonorrhea of the eye and syphilis of the ear every time you watch a movie. In accordance with the prophecy.
Bet no one saw that coming.
Dogma and Mallrats are the only two Kevin Smith movies I have seen. Looks like I need to delve deeper into the Kevin Smith catalog.
Sir you need to also check out An Evening with Kevin Smith and An Evening with Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder.
Maybe that’s why it burns when I pee?
Minor clarification I must beg to differ on, even though I like any sci-fi story equally well, not one over the other…
William Shatner – The Twilight Zone famous airliner scene, TJ Hooker, Rescue 911, has ownership in Priceline.com (which I find are getting funnier as they go), Host of A&E’s Raw Nerve, Boston Legal, and many movies, including Miss Congeniality and much more.
Mark Hammil – mostly cartoons and ultra-B movies. However, the coincidence of coincidences, and quite possibly a universe shaking event, he AND William Shatner are in Quantum Quest: A Cassini Space Odyssey.
I’d say Shatner wins on this one.
At least Star trek is still going on. Star Wars was officially finished at Revenge of the Sith. Besides, the Star Trek graphics are getting better and better. Have you seen the trailers for the latest movie?
Also, Orion Slave girls.
Case closed.
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